Harvey's Hardware, for all your pipe bomb needs [OPEN]

[eyeforaneye]

Harvey's Hardware seems like a perfectly innocuous establishment in the southwest corner of Ealing. Old, not terribly well taken care of, but stocked to the brim with a huge assortment of tools and supplies of varying quality (and age). When was the last time anyone came to inspect this place?

Regardless, upon stepping inside you'll find no one named Harvey on the property at all. Instead there's a surly young man behind the counter, someone who looks both tired and wholly too alert at the same time, armed with a thermos of coffee, a stack of manuals on fixing god knows what, and a book of Gaelic poetry.

[A]

Maybe you're just perusing the shelves, minding your own business, when you hear a voice from the till: "Loitering's prohibited. There's a sign outside that says so. If you need something specific, ask." Rude tactic but you'd be amazed at how much product Sasuke can move out of this place by being pushy.

[B]

Maybe instead you were lured in by the sign in the window that advertises a 'buy one get one free' deal on all items of equivalent value in the store. Maybe you even went so far as to ask about the promotion. The answer?

"That sign is from 2009. The guy that worked here before me glued it on instead of affixing it normally. The boss found out last year when he tried to remove it, and that's why he isn't here anymore." All that to say... "That deal's invalid. No discounts."

[C]

Or maybe you're just here to ask for recommendations or buy some hardware. Up to you! Feel free to message me if you have something specific in mind that you want set up.

Comments

A

[detectiveofthewest]

"Aww, quit rushing me," said a rather familiar voice in reply as Heiji examined a length of rope. He had a few other things in his basket, including some rather sturdy picture wire.

"This is a delicate operation!"

B

[mensrea]

Guess who was totally duped by the promotion. Stiles didn’t even bother to ask about the validity of it, simply went ahead and gathered as many items as he could hold in his arms. It isn’t until after he’s dumped everything on the counter (a pack of batteries rolls off the surface) and it’s all rung up is he stopped short.

“Huh? That number can’t be right. You forgot the discount.”

C

[apolly]

Apollo slams a hammer on the table.

Do your worst.

[eyeforaneye]

He doesn't look up when he hears the voice -- again, too soon -- but his eyes do narrow down at his book.

"You've been here for a while, Hasegawa. How delicate would you say it really is?"

[eyeforaneye]

"If you're referring to the sign in the window, you'll notice the note below it saying it's no longer honored." Yes. The extremely small note with the even smaller print.

"The owner's refused to authorize that deal for several years."

[detectiveofthewest]

"Pretty delicate," said Heiji cheerfully, hi buddy how ya doin. "I'm tryin' to figure out the feasibility of hanging someone from a roof beam."

Well, okay, strictly speaking he didn't need to buy the rope to figure that out but looking at it was helpful. Imagining the killer holding it, twisting it in his hands, darting his hands out and...

[eyeforaneye]

...

A hammer which Sasuke picks up, examining it for a price or any kind of identifying tag. Huh. Nope. Luckily the brand is carved into the wood, so now he's pulling out his phone in order to google it and price match it. This is how you run a business.

"I researched your class."

[mensrea]

"What!?"

Jaw dropping, he stumbles away from the counter, hands held up in the universal "hold on" gesture, before rushing outside to ascertain this for himself. When he returns, it's in a flurry of movement.

"This is bullshit! That's like, false advertisement!"

He is soooo not going to return all this stuff to their rightful shelves. Sorry, Sasuke.

[eyeforaneye]

"... I don't want to be legally obligated to become a witness. Don't tell me the details of whatever you're planning on doing." Don't you put that evil on me.

"That said, it's entirely possible."

[eyeforaneye]

Well at least there's a moment of entertainment in an otherwise wearying day. Sure, it gets old having to explain that damn sign so often, but this reaction is more excited than most.

"Someone glued it there. I'm not responsible." Ah, how to make him buy, though... Sharp eyes catch on one of those items, which he then nods to.

"That one is on sale. It's a good deal." Is it.

[mensrea]

Stiles is not impressed, and makes this known with a loud, displeased huff.

"So cross it out with permanent marker or something, dude! Or do you get off on tormenting your customers by tangling their fragile hopes and dreams on a stick, only to rip monetary savings out of reach at the last minute!?"

This is accompanied by a hearty finger jab in Sasuke's general direction.

He is trying, very hard, to ignore the item the other boy is indicating. He will not fall prey to your lies again, villain.

[apolly]

... Apollo is quickly starting to worry for this kid.

He suddenly feels stupid, though, thinking Sasuke wouldn't recognize him, but of course his hair is a dead giveaway. God damn it.

"You did? It's an elective class, so it's not the most popular."

[eyeforaneye]

What a cruel accusation. One that he's having trouble fully focusing on what with the next page in his book containing his favorite poem but no, he's one hundred percent here with you.

"... This one is on sale too." A brief indication. "I'll throw in a marker for you as well if you want revenge on the sign." It'll definitely wash off in the rain; it always does. But Stiles doesn't need to know that. All he needs to know is what great deals are available here, and also the fact that he needs this job.

[eyeforaneye]

Wise.

"Your reviews as a lecturer aren't bad and the topic's important. People underestimate the importance of legal knowledge right until they're in a difficult position. Then they're even less receptive to learning."

[detectiveofthewest]

"Oh yeah, I know," said Heiji, manhandling the end of one of the coils of rope. He lowered his voice conspiratorially, either ignoring or forgetting that Sasuke had asked him not to talk about details.

"The cops think it's a suicide, but it's not!"

[apolly]

"... You mean when they get thrown into jail?" Apollo asks, pulling out his wallet.

"I'd be glad to have you." Not really. "Plus I'm not bad at a couple of other subjects if had questions on those. Magic and stuff..."

[eyeforaneye]

"Stop involving me or I won't ring up your order." Or so he responds in a much more aggressive tone, voice matching Heiji's in lowered volume.

"... and don't stroke the merchandise unless you have full intent to buy."

[eyeforaneye]

"You don't have to lie." No. "It's not going to make me feel worse or anything like that."

The reception in here is so bad, but here he is finally getting to the right page and scrolling through. "And sure, when they're in jail or have to deal with a divided estate or need to stay in compliance with other more complicated laws." ... "I'll see if the school's willing to accept me or not. Did you need anything else while you're here?"

[apolly]

... Apollo has to tilt his head a bit, trying to make out if this kid was extremely smart or extremely hipster. Well, he guesses you could mix both if you really wanted to.

"No, this was just a well-I-finally-need-it-so-I'll-buy-it trip. ... And your name's Sasuke? Am I pronouncing that right?"

[eyeforaneye]

The answer is simultaneously both and neither.

"Most people don't come all the way out here for one small thing like this." Which would explain the state of the place. When was the last time this shop met quota?

"You said it properly. And it'll be six pound fifty for the hammer. You want a bag?"

[apolly]

The approval earns a peace sign. Nailed it!

"I didn't say this was my only stop. I have groceries to get, then LLoyds, and other things."

Apollo hands over the money before pocketing his wallet again, eyeing the hammer for another moment.

Yeah, why not. "Sure, I can use it to carry other small things if I pass by or something."

[eyeforaneye]

Sasuke looks towards the stack of plastic bags and then back to Apollo, waiting expectantly.

... ah, wait. "It's a 5p charge for plastic bags here. I guess you're not used to it yet, still. Also..." Hn. "Never mind."

[apolly]

Apollo's eyebrows go up, but he doesn't say anything, and dumbly reaches back into his pocket to pull out the change.

"Also what?"

[detectiveofthewest]

"It's murder," said Heiji, stage-whispering the last word so that Sasuke would be guaranteed to hear it.

He returned to normal volume, but did not let go of the rope. "I ain't so sure I wanna buy anything from here, anyway. The prices seem kinda jacked up."

[eyeforaneye]

...

"It's nothing. I'm realizing you're probably the wrong person to ask. Here, I'll get this." The hammer looks ready to puncture the bag almost immediately and he actually notes it, pausing... before adding a second bag, not saying anything about it when he hands it over.

"There."