Harvey's Hardware, for all your pipe bomb needs [OPEN]

[eyeforaneye]

Harvey's Hardware seems like a perfectly innocuous establishment in the southwest corner of Ealing. Old, not terribly well taken care of, but stocked to the brim with a huge assortment of tools and supplies of varying quality (and age). When was the last time anyone came to inspect this place?

Regardless, upon stepping inside you'll find no one named Harvey on the property at all. Instead there's a surly young man behind the counter, someone who looks both tired and wholly too alert at the same time, armed with a thermos of coffee, a stack of manuals on fixing god knows what, and a book of Gaelic poetry.

[A]

Maybe you're just perusing the shelves, minding your own business, when you hear a voice from the till: "Loitering's prohibited. There's a sign outside that says so. If you need something specific, ask." Rude tactic but you'd be amazed at how much product Sasuke can move out of this place by being pushy.

[B]

Maybe instead you were lured in by the sign in the window that advertises a 'buy one get one free' deal on all items of equivalent value in the store. Maybe you even went so far as to ask about the promotion. The answer?

"That sign is from 2009. The guy that worked here before me glued it on instead of affixing it normally. The boss found out last year when he tried to remove it, and that's why he isn't here anymore." All that to say... "That deal's invalid. No discounts."

[C]

Or maybe you're just here to ask for recommendations or buy some hardware. Up to you! Feel free to message me if you have something specific in mind that you want set up.

Comments

C

[apolly]

Apollo slams a hammer on the table.

Do your worst.

[eyeforaneye]

...

A hammer which Sasuke picks up, examining it for a price or any kind of identifying tag. Huh. Nope. Luckily the brand is carved into the wood, so now he's pulling out his phone in order to google it and price match it. This is how you run a business.

"I researched your class."

[apolly]

... Apollo is quickly starting to worry for this kid.

He suddenly feels stupid, though, thinking Sasuke wouldn't recognize him, but of course his hair is a dead giveaway. God damn it.

"You did? It's an elective class, so it's not the most popular."

[eyeforaneye]

Wise.

"Your reviews as a lecturer aren't bad and the topic's important. People underestimate the importance of legal knowledge right until they're in a difficult position. Then they're even less receptive to learning."

[apolly]

"... You mean when they get thrown into jail?" Apollo asks, pulling out his wallet.

"I'd be glad to have you." Not really. "Plus I'm not bad at a couple of other subjects if had questions on those. Magic and stuff..."

[eyeforaneye]

"You don't have to lie." No. "It's not going to make me feel worse or anything like that."

The reception in here is so bad, but here he is finally getting to the right page and scrolling through. "And sure, when they're in jail or have to deal with a divided estate or need to stay in compliance with other more complicated laws." ... "I'll see if the school's willing to accept me or not. Did you need anything else while you're here?"

[apolly]

... Apollo has to tilt his head a bit, trying to make out if this kid was extremely smart or extremely hipster. Well, he guesses you could mix both if you really wanted to.

"No, this was just a well-I-finally-need-it-so-I'll-buy-it trip. ... And your name's Sasuke? Am I pronouncing that right?"

[eyeforaneye]

The answer is simultaneously both and neither.

"Most people don't come all the way out here for one small thing like this." Which would explain the state of the place. When was the last time this shop met quota?

"You said it properly. And it'll be six pound fifty for the hammer. You want a bag?"

[apolly]

The approval earns a peace sign. Nailed it!

"I didn't say this was my only stop. I have groceries to get, then LLoyds, and other things."

Apollo hands over the money before pocketing his wallet again, eyeing the hammer for another moment.

Yeah, why not. "Sure, I can use it to carry other small things if I pass by or something."

[eyeforaneye]

Sasuke looks towards the stack of plastic bags and then back to Apollo, waiting expectantly.

... ah, wait. "It's a 5p charge for plastic bags here. I guess you're not used to it yet, still. Also..." Hn. "Never mind."

[apolly]

Apollo's eyebrows go up, but he doesn't say anything, and dumbly reaches back into his pocket to pull out the change.

"Also what?"

[eyeforaneye]

...

"It's nothing. I'm realizing you're probably the wrong person to ask. Here, I'll get this." The hammer looks ready to puncture the bag almost immediately and he actually notes it, pausing... before adding a second bag, not saying anything about it when he hands it over.

"There."

[apolly]

...

Apollo, questioningly, holds out another coin.

[eyeforaneye]

And Sasuke stares back, almost challenging.

[apolly]

... Okay, well, looks like he's keeping a free bag.

He just nods once, still silent, before taking the double backs and getting the hell out. They keep meeting by chance and it's gonna drive him up the wall soon.

im gonna put this right here TOO SHORT

[apolly]

Apollo comes back three hours later.

"... It broke."

omfg why are you doing this to me

[eyeforaneye]

Sasuke looks back up from his newspaper, a few jobs circled and several more crossed out.

"... What did you do to it?"

[apolly]

"... I just needed it to pin up a sign! It broke after several hits."

And to prove it, Apollo now takes the hammer out of his bag. With no handle.

"I bought a bad one, didn't I."

[eyeforaneye]

"It wasn't very expensive." He's willing to admit this, not ashamed of that fact. It's not his product, after all; Apollo had picked it out.

"It shouldn't have broken that easily, though." ... "Is that really what you were doing?"

[apolly]

Wow, this guy sure didn't have faith in the retail department. Spoken like a true member of society.














"Why would I lie about this. I was literally just trying to pin up a sign."

[eyeforaneye]

"What kind of material was the sign made out of?" Ugh, fine, he'll do his job.

[apolly]

"Wood, but I was hanging it with a string so I actually had to hammer the plaster, and now here we are."

He places the hammer down, thinking briefly.

"I don't want a refund, I just want to know which brand is a better hammer." Here, I'll be a nice customer.

[eyeforaneye]

... he actually gets to his feet then, circling the till that he very rarely ever bothers to leave.

"You're obviously not in construction, and light-weight hammers are actually harder for beginners to use. You want something with more substance. That one snapped easily because it was a wooden handle and poorly secured." Sasuke stops at the row of hammers, skimming over brand names before selecting one at a semi-decent price but a much better value, returning to slap it down.

"This one's a one-piece forge so it won't break, has some more weight to it, a reliable brand name, non-slip rubber grip, magnetic nail holder, and a much larger strike face. It's good for people just starting out. I can give it to you for twenty-six pounds."

[apolly]

Apollo has a short urge of defending himself, saying he's stronger than he looks, but that would actually just hurt his case so he shuts up.

He stares down at the new hammer and picks it up, it looks fine... well, a hammer is a hammer.

He just shrugs and nods, sliding over the money. "Uh, thank you. I mean, it's pinned in the front now, but if it falls then I won't have to come here every single freakin' time."

[eyeforaneye]

"This should handle it. As I said, this one won't break on you, so any issues will be user error." Okay, maybe it sounds rude but it's true.

"Though if you're putting up a permanent sign for your business then it's better to just use a sign post anyway."