undergrounds | Harvey's Hardware, for all your pipe bomb needs [OPEN]

Harvey's Hardware seems like a perfectly innocuous establishment in the southwest corner of Ealing. Old, not terribly well taken care of, but stocked to the brim with a huge assortment of tools and supplies of varying quality (and age). When was the last time anyone came to inspect this place?

Regardless, upon stepping inside you'll find no one named Harvey on the property at all. Instead there's a surly young man behind the counter, someone who looks both tired and wholly too alert at the same time, armed with a thermos of coffee, a stack of manuals on fixing god knows what, and a book of Gaelic poetry.

[A]

Maybe you're just perusing the shelves, minding your own business, when you hear a voice from the till: "Loitering's prohibited. There's a sign outside that says so. If you need something specific, ask." Rude tactic but you'd be amazed at how much product Sasuke can move out of this place by being pushy.

[B]

Maybe instead you were lured in by the sign in the window that advertises a 'buy one get one free' deal on all items of equivalent value in the store. Maybe you even went so far as to ask about the promotion. The answer?

"That sign is from 2009. The guy that worked here before me glued it on instead of affixing it normally. The boss found out last year when he tried to remove it, and that's why he isn't here anymore." All that to say... "That deal's invalid. No discounts."

[C]

Or maybe you're just here to ask for recommendations or buy some hardware. Up to you! Feel free to message me if you have something specific in mind that you want set up.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"It wasn't very expensive." He's willing to admit this, not ashamed of that fact. It's not his product, after all; Apollo had picked it out.

"It shouldn't have broken that easily, though." ... "Is that really what you were doing?"

Wow, this guy sure didn't have faith in the retail department. Spoken like a true member of society.

"Why would I lie about this. I was literally just trying to pin up a sign."

"What kind of material was the sign made out of?" Ugh, fine, he'll do his job.

"Wood, but I was hanging it with a string so I actually had to hammer the plaster, and now here we are."

He places the hammer down, thinking briefly.

"I don't want a refund, I just want to know which brand is a better hammer." Here, I'll be a nice customer.

... he actually gets to his feet then, circling the till that he very rarely ever bothers to leave.

"You're obviously not in construction, and light-weight hammers are actually harder for beginners to use. You want something with more substance. That one snapped easily because it was a wooden handle and poorly secured." Sasuke stops at the row of hammers, skimming over brand names before selecting one at a semi-decent price but a much better value, returning to slap it down.

"This one's a one-piece forge so it won't break, has some more weight to it, a reliable brand name, non-slip rubber grip, magnetic nail holder, and a much larger strike face. It's good for people just starting out. I can give it to you for twenty-six pounds."

Apollo has a short urge of defending himself, saying he's stronger than he looks, but that would actually just hurt his case so he shuts up.

He stares down at the new hammer and picks it up, it looks fine... well, a hammer is a hammer.

He just shrugs and nods, sliding over the money. "Uh, thank you. I mean, it's pinned in the front now, but if it falls then I won't have to come here every single freakin' time."

"This should handle it. As I said, this one won't break on you, so any issues will be user error." Okay, maybe it sounds rude but it's true.

"Though if you're putting up a permanent sign for your business then it's better to just use a sign post anyway."

You sure are a salesman.

"Oh, it's not permanent. I'm hanging up a hiring sign. Hopefully it only stays up for like... a month, at most."

The sooner, the better. The office was quickly turning into a mess and he's got less and less time as the days go by. Who will be the lucky lackey, who?

...

"I see. In that case this one's still your best bet, though if you're looking for a legal partner then you're also better off putting out an official help-wanted ad."

Look how I'm getting the information that I want; I've learned some skills.

"Ah, no. Just some hired help for around the office. To help organize the papers and keep the place clean and stuff."

Apollo sounds more cheerful at least, taking the hammer from the counter with a smile. "I work a lot and I'm always running low between that and sleeping, so I have to look for somebody. I'd put out an ad, but... I don't want too many people coming in at once."

"Seems necessary if you're also still planning on teaching class for a while at Redbright." He actually writes out a receipt this time, the system still refusing to print them automatically on cash payments.

"Here. If there are issues with that one, I'll be willing to listen." Unlike regarding the other one, since it was shit and I'm not responsible.

"All right, thank you. Have a good shift."

Little did we all know he's going to regret this conversation in the next couple of days, thanks.

"Sure." I work in retail, are you kidding. Though ulterior motives aside, that is a great hammer and he doesn't expect to see him back.

Seems he'll have to take things into his own hands.

Harvey's Hardware, for all your pipe bomb needs [OPEN]

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1/2

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oh my gOD

you did this to yourself

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should we set up a log/inbox thread for the next step

ya ♥