undergrounds | upon the hill he'll hear my secrets -- open post for october

Caroline nods. "They broke up long before anything happened with Stefan and me. And Elena was dating Stefan's brother, so ..." She shrugs. The romantic trials and tribulations of Mystic Falls was definitely a bit on the incestuous side at times, though thankfully not literally.

"Anyway, Stefan and I didn't really get close until-" she pauses, looking around to make sure no one is close enough to overhear, "when I turned, he was there for me, to help teach me about what it all meant. And we became really good friends."

She nods. "Alright. That's... Well, small town, I guess?" From what she'd seen of American small towns on the telly or in films.

"I'm glad he was there for you." She follows Caroline's glance around the room. "He's a vampire too, right?" If he had helped her out, he had to have been. "Was he your sire?"

"Yeah, that about sums it up." She decided not to mention that Stefan was the second of Elena's exes that she'd dated. Or that she and Damon had ... well, the less said about that, the better.

"No, it was actually Damon, his brother, though it was an accident, sort of. I was in a car accident and he was actually trying to help, for a change. But it didn't exactly go as planned." She was leaving out a fair amount but she did not feel like trying to explain the existence of Katherine Pierce. "So anywhere, there I was, new vampire. But Stefan showed me how to control and embrace this new side of me. And when he needed help, I did the same for him."

She paused, thinking about it. "I don't really know when my feelings began to change from friendship to something more. It wasn't for awhile, since both of us were involved with other people a lot of the time. But eventually I realized it, just in time for him to take off on me."

Nancy's brow furrows with concern as she listens to Caroline explain how it happened. She wasn't going to pry, ask more questions- it wasn't her place, and she'd done a good job of trying to explain it. "I'm glad he tried to help." One of her old clients had offered her his blood to help her heal once. She'd turned him down.

When Caroline continues on, Nancy looks down at her chipping nail polish. That's how it was with Cooper. They'd been friends- to a degree. He'd barged in on her and a client, and here they were.

"I'm sorry he left."

"Yeah, me too." She shakes her head slightly. "I was really angry at him for a long time about that. I know he had his reasons for leaving. Actually, they're pretty similar to the reasons why I'm here now. But I needed him and he wasn't there."

She pauses, frowning as she tries to pick up the story again in a way that makes sense but doesn't involve explaining every little detail - she doesn't think Nancy wants to listen to her blather on for hours and hours on end. "Eventually he came back and things were pretty awkward. And then ... and then my mom got sick."

"I can relate," she says carefully, not wanting to elaborate. But there had been so many times in her life when she needed Bill there. But he'd been locked away, leaving her unable to see him.

"Your mum? Is she... Is she alright?" She's treading carefully, because mums can be a very sensitive subject, and she doesn't presume to know Caroline's history with hers.

It's a bit strange to actually be talking about this. She'd gone months around people who had no idea of her background and it had been rather refreshing, after growing up in a place where everyone not only knew your name but every little detail about you - well, besides the vampire thing. But it actually felt nice to talk about it too. Especially this. She still missed her mom so much.

"No. It was cancer and no matter what we tried, nothing worked. Ri-right before she died, Stefan and I kissed for the first time. But then when we got back, she was gone and nothing else seemed to matter."

She pauses, realizing which part of the story she's at now. It's the part she doesn't know if she wants to tell. "I held myself together until after the funeral but then ... something just sort of snapped. I tried to push all the grief away, push everything human away. The result wasn't pretty."

It's how Nancy so often felt. She kept details of her life close to her chest. Sure, she was open about the fact that she was a prostitute, but it was the darker details she preferred to keep to herself. No use in garnering pity she didn't have any use for.

"Shit, Caroline- I'm so sorry," she says, reaching across the table for her friend's hand. She captures it, gives it a friendly squeeze.

She doesn't blame her at all, for losing it some. She's only ever had thoughts about her mum, rather than actually knowing the woman, but Caroline is hardly the first vampire to take the death of a loved one hard. And for her, she was sure, this was the first time she truly realized that she was going to outlive, well, everyone she loved.

It was the painful truth abut being a vampire, even Nancy knew.

"Thanks," Caroline says, turning her hand to squeeze Nancy's back. "I still sometimes can't believe she's really gone. Mom was the sheriff of Mystic Falls and seemed invincible, even with all the crazy things that could happen. But I guess none of us are."

She takes a long, deep breath, before continuing with the worst of it. "So things were bad. And the worst part was that I managed to drag Stefan down with me. He's a ... I don't know if you call it the same thing here, but he calls himself a ripper. When he drinks human blood, he just loses control. And so when he tried to get through to me, tried to stop him, I forced him to join me instead."

She pauses again, knowing she has to admit this last part but fearing what it means. She knows Nancy is involved with vampires but still. This could be a lot to take in.

"I don't know how many people died because of the two of us. I should but I just couldn't face figuring it out. And while that was happening, the two of us, well, the feelings may have been pushed aside but our basic attraction wasn't and so we hooked up. And then, when it was finally over and I realized what we'd done, what I'd done, I just couldn't look at him any more. And that's the point where I packed up my bags and flew across an ocean to get away from my troubles."

She looks over at Nancy nervously. "I told you there was quite a story."

Wow. Wow. That was a lot to take in, and heavy. But she wasn't going to hold it against her. Not in her line of work, not with the life she lived. Cooper had killed how many people in his life time? And it was far longer than Caroline's. Her ex was a murderer as well, and half of her clients, too.

She had to do what she had to do, and while she wished it hadn't come down to killing people, she wasn't surprised. Nor was she surprised that she'd chosen to hook up with Stefan again. Blood and sex ran so close together, and she knew it better than most.

"I'm glad you're safe." She says at last. "And, it seems, doing better."

"Yeah, well, it's hard to do much worse than that."

Caroline felt very drained now, in a good, cathartic way. She knew these scars were going to stay with her for a long time but they felt a little less heavy, now that she knew she could share them, with the right people.

Nancy, if she wanted, could have given her a run for her money. But it wasn't a contest. Suffering was never a contest. And it wasn't the time or the place for it. Besides, hse'd rather keep the gory details of her life private.

"You can only go up from here," she reminds her.

Caroline let out a sigh that turns into a laugh. "That's true. And really, I think I've been doing quite well here. I found a nice little apartment - or should I saw a nice little flat. I got a job that I enjoy. And I've been a very good little vampire. Well, good by my standards, though the people in charge might not agree."

It annoys her that indiscriminate feeding and killing seems to be encouraged these days. Not only is it not something she wants to partake in but it also made being a vampire in London that much more difficult.

"Yeah, flat, there, you're picking up the language." She teased her, smiling fondly.

"Your standards are the only ones that really matter," she says kindly, wishing that she could take the advice to heart herself.

Caroline managed a smile. "Just don't expect me to start talking about jumpers and trousers and using the lift."

She's not sure she can agree about whose standards matter. She'd like it if hers were the only one but it doesn't really seem like the rest of the world would play alone.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Nancy lifts her drink and takes a nice, slow sip.

"Keep the American thing going- I bet loads of boys find it attractive around here."

"Just what I need, more boys," she replies, with a grin. "Actually, the most luck I've had so far was with another American. I guess we just naturally group together, with a refrain in our heads saying the British are coming."

"But enough about me, how are you doing these days?" Caroline's read the paper and knows what it said about Nancy. She's not sure if she should bring it up though.

Nancy shakes her head. "Yeah? What's his name? I've known a few Americans around here." Kyle, Stiles and Derek way back when, Arthur. All of them were American.

"Me? Well-" other than being pardoned, but she didn't really want to talk about that. Nancy glances over her shoulder, than back to Caroline with a huge grin on her face. "I'm moving in with Cooper! I was staying with him, but we decided to make it official." They liked having someone with each other. "I forgot how much I missed having someone to sleep with."

Like, physically sleep.

"Kyle. I ran into him at a bar one night and well, I had a good time at least. That was a couple months ago now, not much to report since."

At least one of them had some good news on the relationship front. "Wow, that's great!" She was pretty sure Nancy meant physically sleeping with someone. Especially given her job.

"Kyle." That was such a common name, but she had been around long enough to know there was no such thing as coincidence.

"Really attractive, washboard abs, eagle tattoo?" She asks. Because if it's Kyle Sutton, this was going to change everything.

Caroline raises an eyebrow. "Sound about right. Ex-military?" If Nancy really did know Kyle, then maybe London was a much world and she had believed.

Oh god, if Nancy did know Kyle, Caroline hopes it wasn't because of work.

"Kyle Sutton," she says with a smirk. "yeah, I know him. He's a lovely fellow, really." She and him were friends, he'd offered her a place to stay at one point, but their differing views on vampires had made it quite clear that no, they were never going to be able to live together.

Then she realizes exactly what that sounds like.

"He's just a friend," she tells her quickly. "That's all- does- does he know you're a vampire?" If he did, she was going to be furious. If he didn't... Well, that was just a delicious bit of irony, then, wasn't it?

"No, we didn't exactly spend the time talking about things like that. Or talking at all, really," she adds with a laugh.

So, definitely a small world. But at least he wasn't a client or anything like that. "So, how do you know him?"

Nancy gives her a knowing nod. She knows that look. "Well, good. I'm glad t'hear it." It would have gone very, very badly if he'd found out she was a vampire. As absolutely hilarious as it was for her, too.

"We ran into each other at a party. There was a bit of a fight and I told him I'd patch him right up. Done it a few times since." She doesn't mind helping him out.

Somehow it didn't surprise Caroline to learn that Kyle was the type to get into bar fights. He had a bit of a look to him - which if she was being honest, she had quite liked. "What was the fight about?"

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