And we don't know where we're going and we don't know where we've been (Amnesia plot post)

[dredefulchilde]

23 February, Early Morning

He wakes up in the middle of a field - actually, a football pitch in Hounslow, but it seems vast and strange to him. He feels a nagging sense that he's lost something important, but he can't remember what it is. On further thought, he realizes that it's not the only thing he can't remember. He has no idea who he is, where he is, or why he's standing in the cold rain. The only thing he can remember is the feeling of an old ring hanging on a chain against his chest, under his sodden clothes. It's familiar and safe, and he knows that if he removes it something very bad will happen.

So the boy crouches in the mud and puzzles through his odd predicament.

A woman at a bus stop opposite the park is the first to see the small figure in the rain. She approaches the pale child and asks him what he's doing out so early, offering her umbrella, but he doesn't seem to understand her questions, growing increasingly agitated and confused the more she tries to help him. He's obviously lost, and the thinness of his arms and legs concerns her. She calls the police.

That night, the evening news broadcasts a picture of a boy, believed to be between nine and eleven years of age, who has been taken into care by Child Protective Services. They are looking for anyone who may recognize him since he does not seem to recognize himself. It generates a bit of buzz online, but it's hardly a leading news story with everything else going on in the world.

There's a follow-up the next morning, but this time it leads the program: a nurse in the mystery boy's hospital room was found dead late last night, drained of blood, her throat ripped out. The child is nowhere to be found.

[Specific prompts in the comments!]

Comments

Closed to Cesare

[dredefulchilde]

The police have him again. This time, they're not as friendly as they were when the nice lady with the umbrella called them. They have him in a small room and they've given him hot chocolate, but they won't leave him alone and they keep giving him hard, angry looks.

He knows he deserves it. He's done a terrible thing.

But he doesn't like this room. He doesn't want to be here. He doesn't like the way that one of them keeps asking him the same questions over and over about what happened in the hospital, even if she pretends to be nice about it and gives him breaks when he wants them.

"I don't know," he keeps crying to her. "I don't know. I don't remember."

But then the door opens. "His father's here," says a man and the boy sits up in surprise. It never occurred to him that he might have a father.

[longterm]

"Fuck," Cesare had cursed loudly when he saw Joscelin on the television. It had been a fluke that he had seen him in the first place, to be honest, his eyes glancing to the screen while he had been feeding on his latest meal.

Soon enough he's contacting a guy who knpws a guy and documents are forged, identities created and Cesare becomes a proud father. Again.

When Cesare walks into the room, he's standing more awkwardly than he otherwise would have liked. He gives Joscelin a wry smile and holds out a hand.

"Come on, son."

[dredefulchilde]

The boy had been hoping to remember something when he saw the person claiming to be his father, but those hopes are dashed as he looks curiously at the dark-haired person standing in front of him. Nothing about him seems familiar, except perhaps his smell. He smells a little different than anyone else that he's come into contact with in the last few days.

Maybe that means he really is my father, he thinks, and takes the hand that's held out to him.

"I think I did something bad," he says as the man leads him away. "Don't bad people go to jail? Am I going to go to jail?"

[longterm]

The fact that Joscelin seems not to recognize Cesare is...concerning. Joscelin suddenly seems so much younger and the Borgia smiles wryly, shaking his head.

"No. You're going home, where we can sort all this out." He means fixing Joscelin's predicament, not whatever bad thing he's talking about, although Cesare can guess exactly what that is.

"Do you....have your mother's ring?" he asks, trying to figure out exactly how to ask about the daylight jewelry without picking up any attention from the officers next to them.

[dredefulchilde]

Oh, he knows about the ring. His mother's ring. That feels right. Suddenly confident that this stranger can be trusted (because why else would he know about the ring, and how special it is?) the boy reaches under his shirt and lifts it out, still suspended on its gold chain.

"They tried to take it but I wouldn't let them."

[longterm]

Cesare gives Joscelin's hand a little squeeze and nods. Thank god. Cesare was not looking forward to the prospect of getting Joscelin to The Angelo during daytime without a daylight ring. It would not have been ideal.

"Good. Don't lose it. Keep it on, ok? It's important. Now, shall we take you home?"

[dredefulchilde]

Home. He doesn't know where that is, but going home sounds fantastic. He nods, and puts the ring back under his shirt.

Once they're out of the police headquarters, the boy turns to the man.

"Why can't I remember anything?"

[longterm]

Cesare hesitates, not entirely sure how to answer, mostly because he doesn't quite know the answer himself. So instead he just stands there awkwardly for a moment, holding his clueless elder's hand like a child when Cesare thinks of him as anything but.

"You were ill. You'll get better soon." At least, Cesare damn well hopes so. He doesn't want to have the responsibility of raising a baby Joscelin.

[dredefulchilde]

"And you lost me while I was ill?" It comes out a little more accusatory than the boy means to be. He's got the vague idea that his father ought to keep him better contained, since he's obviously a danger to others.

They get into a car and start driving towards a part of London that feels as if it ought to be more familiar than it is.

"I don't...have to go back to the hospital, do I?" He doesn't want to hurt anyone else.

[longterm]

"No. Definitely not. We'll have you treated at home," Cesare replies instantly as he leads Joscelin into a car that was waiting for them. There's no chance whatsoever that Cesare is leaving this to other people to handle, let alone others who have no idea who Joscelin actually is. It would be a bloodbath.

Once Cesare is sitting next to him in the car, after a moment's silence, Cesare's brow furrows. He turns to Joscelin.

"Did something happen in the hospital?"

[dredefulchilde]

"You...saw the news, didn't you?"

The boy's face, usually so impassive, is an open book of grief and trauma. That woman is dead and it's his fault. "The police...what I did..."

Because he lied. He does remember doing it. He just doesn't know why.

He can feel the panic rising within him again. He's hungry and he's trapped in a car with someone he can hurt. Not the man claiming to be his father, who oddly smells extremely unappealing to him, but their driver. He can hear the blood pumping in the man's veins. The boy closes his eyes and sits back against the leather seats.

[longterm]

"Do you know what you did, Joscelin?" he asks firmly, like a father speaking to a son. It sounds legitimate, but it feels horrifically awkward for him. Cesare has not considered himself to be a father in a long time.

He asks because it seems pretty clear that Joscelin knows very little at the moment. Who knows if he actually knows what he's done?

"Look at me, Joscelin..." The more Cesare can find out right now, the better.

[dredefulchilde]

Of course he knows. He's not an idiot.

Like a child being reprimanded by an adult, he squirms away, refusing to meet the man's eyes. Yes, he knows what he did. He doesn't want to admit it, but he knows.

So instead he says, after a moment, "Joscelin is a girl's name."

[longterm]

Cesare rolls his eyes and laughs a little, letting out a slightly exasperated sigh.

"Not when I was young. I think it's a fantastic name. And don't worry; we'll get you sorted out soon." He gives Joscelin a slap on the shoulder.

Soon enough they're at The Angelo and Cesare leads Joscelin through a back door and into a private lounge. He steps behind the unattended bar and pulls out a bottle of red liquid that he uncaps and places on the bartop.

"Drink this." Something to quell Joscelin's hunger so that he doesn't rip apart the next person he feeds on. Cesare at least tries to avoid mess at times.

[dredefulchilde]

Joscelin (because apparently that's his name--thanks, Dad) can smell what's in the bottle before the man even opens it. It should turn his stomach, but it just makes him hungrier. He hates himself for grabbing the bottle and gulping down the blood, but he immediately feels better once he does.

Nancy had known all along, he realizes. That's why she'd tried to do the same thing last night.

He feels a pang of regret when he thinks about her. She'd been so kind and he'd run away.

"Someone helped me last night. When I was lost. I'd like to thank her."

[longterm]

"Oh, hmm? Who was that?" Cesare asks, not really caring much about the answer. He doesn't intend to find the woman. He just wants to get Joscelin's memory back to normal and have this whole affair over and done. Cesare does not like being a dad. He thought he was past that point. He has no intention of starting it up again for any substantial period of time. Besides, Cesare liked his friend, the friend he could drink and josh with. He wants that person back.

"How do you feel?"

[dredefulchilde]

"Better?" How do you even answer that question? Joscelin looks over to the man. His father. That doesn't feel right but he just drank a bottle full of blood less than a day after eviscerating a kindly middle aged woman because she smelled good so what does or does not feel right is a bit of a sliding scale at the moment.

That was a mean thought. Is that who he is? Is he mean?

"Her name was Nancy. She made me soup but I guess that's not what I needed. Then her boyfriend came home and I left."

He tries to sound casual, since he thinks that's what his "father" wants to hear in his modern, elegant, and very expensive-looking hotel, but a pretty obvious act. He'd run away. Like a coward.

[longterm]

Cesare is surprised by Joscelin's answer and laughs as he grabs his own bottle to drink. Trust Nancy to be involved in this somehow. It seems odd, though, that Joscelin would be asked to leave when Cooper arrived. As much as Cesare abhors him, Cooper would have been helpful. At least, that is Cooper that Joscelin's referring to? Not some john? Cesare isn't entirely sure, but the one thing he's certain of is that he's not quite getting the full picture.

"Well, you're here now and we can sort everything out." For a moment, he wonders if he's going to have to teach Joscelin how to feed off people. He hasn't taught someone that for years. He hopes it isn't necessary.

"If you get the urge to hurt anyone else, tell me immediately, ok?"

[dredefulchilde]

"Okay." He doesn't want to hurt anyone else.

Joscelin sits on a bar stool that's far too tall for him, kicking his feet and regarding the man in front of him with some curiosity. "Are you really my dad?" He doesn't quite look old enough.

[longterm]

Cesare pauses for a moment, wondering if he should try to lie, before shaking his head.

"No. I'm not. But I am a family friend of sorts. Your father is unavailable at the moment, so I'm standing in." He doesn't mention that Joscelin's dad will be unavailable for the foreseeable future and has been so for hundreds of years. That won't help.

"I'm going to have some doctors take a look at you to see if they can help you get your memory back. Is that alright?"

[dredefulchilde]

"What's your name, if not 'Dad'?" He figures he ought to have something to call his new guardian.

He pales a little at the thought of doctors and needles, but he nods. He wants his memories back.

[longterm]

"Cesare," he responds with a small smile that he's hoping will be comforting. He suspects Joscelin might decide that Cesare is a girls name too. Children are foolish like that.

"Your condition: it's normal. I have it, my friends have it. A lot of people have it and it's perfectly fine. In fact, it's rather a boon in the long run. You just flubbed it a little. I wouldn't worry about it at all, as long you keep it under control, which is something that I can guarantee if you do as I say."

[dredefulchilde]

Joscelin just nods again. Polite, anxious to please. He fails to see anything normal about any of this, but he only has about forty-eight hours of memories to back up that feeling of wrongness that threatens to overtake him.

"I'll try."

[longterm]

"Oh, and don't go outside without your ring on," he quickly adds. "Not in the daylight anyway. It's a bad idea." He wonders if Joscelin, in his memoryless state, understands what a vampire is, whether he's heard of the concept before. If so, Cesare expects he might begin to catch on. Either that or Joscelin is still just a clueless child.

"How old are you?" he asks out of curiosity.

[dredefulchilde]

Joscelin shrugs. "News report said ten, didn't it? If I can't remember anything, how would I know for sure?"

It's a bit brattish, but he has an odd feeling that he's supposed to talk this way.