but there was no sound, there was only me and my disgrace

[iustitiae]

closed to natasha, august 16
The strange thing is, the numbness sets in first. Before the panic, before the fear. He's starting to wonder what being with these people is doing to him. But the clarity is almost worse. After the first murder, the night after had been a huge blur, the anxiety eating out all of the memories, making them fuzzy and unfocused and all that was left was the imprint of the intense feelings, but not the specifics. This clarity though...the blood on his hands was going to be there for a long time.

But he knows how to get away with murder, and he knows how to solve this problem. That's what he was always doing, solving problems for other people, but this time he has no one to blame for himself. So he swallows his nausea and cleans up the crime scene.

And then...And then...

The sickness starts to set in and the anxiety and the tension and he hates himself too much to be alone with himself. He needs someone else, and even while the loathing tells him he doesn't deserve it, logic knows he needs it. He seeks out Natasha. She's the only person who is stable enough to deal with the bizarre shit he's been dealing with. The only person he can trust with this information without it hurting her.

"I...Natasha, I need to talk."



open, august 18
Do you know what today is? Do you? Here I'll key you in - it's the full moon. And everyone's new favorite baby werewolf is finding out the hard way what that means for the first time. At least he's smart - he's not sure he's really going to transform (but he can feel it, and he knows it instinctively and that's kind of creepy to him), but he's not about to hang around somewhere he can fuck things up more than he has. So here we are, a little before sundown, and he's just chilling in the forest, stashing an extra pair of clothes behind a tree (look, he's seen werewolf movies before), and biding his sweet time before he turns into a giant hungry dog, or whatever.



open, august 19
The morning after, but not the fun kind. At least he's got the Walk of Shame™ thing down, yesterday's clothes secretly stuffed in a briefcase, today's clothes only slightly tousled and only slightly woodland-tingled (a leaf here, some dirt on the cuffs on his pants, no big deal). He looks like a very hung over, very much needing coffee, normal millenial though, by all other counts. He's pretty sure he didn't kill anyone last night so while he's exhausted, he's also pretty happy. What a world, that that's something to be excited about.

Comments

[outstandingbalance]

"That's the spirit," Natasha responds dryly, a faint smile playing around her lips. It's weak, though; she understands that kind of humor, and she doesn't take it for a sign he's okay. Maybe that he will be okay given time, but he's not there yet.

[iustitiae]

"All of this is such a mess," he can tell she doesn't believe it's better and that's fine. He came to her for emotions or something so at least she was letting him have the space to do it. It was a double-edged sword, but it was probably what he needed. "Maybe I should just turn myself over to the supernatural police or something."

[outstandingbalance]

"I don't think that would turn out real well for anyone." She shakes her head, giving him a sideways glance. "Will it do any good if I tell you to keep your head down?"

[iustitiae]

Right again. It wouldn't be good for anyone - and if they start unraveling the strings of how badly he's fucked up, he'd probably end up pulling down everyone with him. "No, that's. Probably the best." He doesn't expect it though. Good people were supposed to turn themselves in, weren't they? I mean -- good people weren't supposed to do this at all but barring that and with existing circumstances as they were...wasn't the right answer supposed to be go to the cops? It's a counsel he's not expecting, not from Natasha. Maybe he should have, she's a vampire. She's probably had her share of strange kills.