undergrounds | A Problem Like Maria, Solved. [closed/open]

i - Blame the New Guy (3 May - locked to Lancelot and Faolan)

It turns out that putting a bounty on the head of a mostly harmless human stalker is not the best course of action when one is a Guardian representing the Night Council, particularly during the elections. Simon's made an even bigger mess of things than usual, it seems. Or at least that's the impression he got from Lancelot's reaction to the news.

"Daryl assured me he wasn't going to hurt her," Simon says for what feels like the twelfth time. "He just wanted to get information that I could use to get her off me." To blackmail the blackmailer. That was Eames' idea, though Simon isn't going to mention that to either of them. He's deep enough in the shit as it is without bringing a fae into things.

ii - Will Wonders Never Cease (7 May - locked to Daryl)

Simon has been expecting the worst for days now. It's hard not to, given his own overreaction and the reactions of those around him. So when he finally hears from Daryl that the job is done, he's mostly expecting there to be a body involved.

He certainly didn't think it would end up like this.

"And she just...agreed to stop?" He's completely dumbfounded. "What did you do to her?"

iii - Matinee Idol (13 May - OTA)

It feels strange to be around normal people. Simon has become so accustomed to being surrounded by the supernatural world in almost everything he does that even doing something as simple as going to the cinema with some friends from Uni and taking in Hollywood's latest semi-annual installment in one of its most venerable superhero franchises seems...wrong, somehow. It's a feeling he can't seem to shake afterwards, as he and the others loudly debate the merits of each member in the pantheon of heroes and how they'd stack up against each other in a fight. It's hard to compare hypotheticals when he personally knows people with powers just as fantastical as the ones dreamed up on screen.

After a while, his friends decide to continue the discussion at another pub, but he makes his excuses and stays behind, scowling at a mostly-untouched pint. The movie was supposed to take his mind off of things, and it was only making them worse.

iv - Choose Your Own Adventure (Anytime - OTA)

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"What do you mean 'what did I do to her'?" Daryl scowled in both confusion and offense at the implications of that question, stepping into Simon's personal space. He'd been paid to get her off Simon's back without anyone getting hurt and he'd done just that.

"She just...went away." Apologized, even. Simon is impressed. A little uncomfortable now that there is a large American man much further in his personal bubble than he ever wanted, but still.

Impressed.

"What did you tell her?"

Daryl stepped back at the obvious way Simon was cowing to him and changing his tone. Good. Teach him to accuse him of doing something to someone that he said he wouldn't. He made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a scoff, "I talked to her. Sat her down and explained that your life needed to be kept a secret from people who ain't never encountered it before. Same as the lives of the rest of us. That you're a..."

He looked down at his feet and crossed his arms, coughing slightly, "you're a good kid."

Another cough and he sucked in a deep breath, looking to the side, "Woulda done the same for anyone in that situation. Didn't make her your soulmate or any fairy tale bullshit like she was making it out to mean."

He'd also spent most of a whole day with her, just talking through the shit she'd been through. How she'd been dumped by her fiancee prior to getting as drunk as she had and stumbling out on those tracks. How she'd been looking for anything to make life feel like it was still worth living. Gave her his number and address instead. Just to talk. Daryl made it clear he wasn't interested in her, but if she wanted someone to talk to, she had better options than a kid that wanted nothing to do with her because he she scared him shitless.

"She got the message," he finished simply, avoiding further details as he met Simon's eyes again.

"All right," Lancelot says, "I can't really judge this -- Faolan knows Daryl better than I do. Say this all goes well, you get her to be quiet, are we assuming he removes the evidence too? What if she still comes looking? You know better than I do how fixated she is. Is this about a story or, is it... personal?"

Because it's one thing if she's hoping to sell a story, it's another if she is actually obsessed with Simon. That takes a lot more to unpick.

"I did save her life," Simon points out. "Maybe she just latched on. Imprinted. Like a baby duck."

He's facing away from Lancelot, making tea. It seems like a uselessly domestic thing to be doing at a time like this, but he can't seem to sit still for very long right now and he might as well be doing something.

"If it were just a story she'd've gone to the papers by now. The video's got barely anything on it, but you can sell footage to just about anyone. If not the tabloids, the UFO people or those websites who think pop stars are part of the Illuminati or something." As a member of the secret cabal keeping common Londoners from knowing the *~*truth*~*, he would vastly prefer things if Beyoncé were calling the shots, rather than a middle-aged witch with a persecution complex when it came to the fae.

Simon hands Lancelot the tea. "It's definitely personal. If she hadn't gone straight to threatening me, I would have just gone out with her. Bought her a drink and been done with it."

Faolan takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He's still trying to process it all. Doing something like that, getting caught, by a reporter no less, then Daryl getting involved somehow. He'll need to talk to the other man about what sort of interactions he's had with the woman himself, but for the moment they've got Simon. Simon who's suggesting that he might have just gone out with her to keep her quiet.

"So let me get this straight," he says, because this is the first time he's spoken with the other Guardian directly about it (and not just been messaged to be filled in by Lancelot). "She found you out. And then what? Where has she taken it from there?" He glances at Lancelot, wondering if he's been more in the loop than he. He certainly hasn't had to deal with all the election trash anyway. Not in the same sense that Faolan has at least.

"Ducks are a lot cuter," Lancelot corrects, and looks between Faolan and Simon properly. After a moment he sips his drink and decides to do a little of the talking for Simon's sake. "Blackmail," he fills in finally, "she's threatening to take video footage of Simon to the papers. It's not very clear footage, I suspect it might be widely considered faked, but it's still something. The terms are a little more unusual, though. It seems she has a romantic interest in Simon, and she's hoping threats will make him see the light. Not a tactic I think is working."

"Y'know, the pint only disappears if you actually drink it." The drawling Irish voice comes from the teen sitting nearby, a beer already three-quarters of the way gone clasped between his hands. He's been watching the various comings and goings in the pub for more than two hours. He'd watched as Simon came in with his friends and then as they'd left without him. Now there's a prime mark for a hungry vampire if ever Cooper saw one.

Of course, hunting was a task that required above all else a keen sense of patience. One had to reel in the victim first, put them at ease, and then figure out how to get them alone. "What's plaguing your mind?" He asks, turning his chair to better face Simon.

"Hm?"

Simon is miles away and it takes him a moment to snap back to reality. The pub is full of bodies on a Friday night, but the smell of vampire is hard to miss. Is he that easy a mark?

"Exams," he lies. Well, it's half true.

He doubts it's only that. People always seem to have a myriad of troubles on their minds. Frankly, the vampire finds that to be exhausting. "Just look at it this way. In a hundred years, everyone will be dead, so what difference does it matter anyway?" He shrugs blithely. Cooper, that is not the way to make someone feel better.

Simon just snorts humorlessly. "Well, that's great for them a hundred years from now but perspective isn't all that useful in the short term." He still has to survive the next two months, much less the next century.

"Besides," he says pointedly, "Technology being what it is, we could all live to a hundred and fifty. Or they could be, I don't know. Vampires." He laughs like it's all one big joke.

Cooper smiles, not quite managing a laugh. So, that's the way he wants to play it, fine. He lets the vampire reference pass him by, looking completely unphased by it. He takes a long swig of his beer instead. "If you want some perspective for the short term? Worry. Worry for everything that is and everything that will be in your life. Eventually, you'll get sick of worrying 'n relax. Or you'll have a mental breakdown. One of the two."

"That's cheerful." Simon raises an eyebrow. What is the vampire's problem?

Well, obviously he was hungry and cruising for blood donors. But beyond that.

He takes a drink of his own beer and sighs. "You're a fucking riot, you know that?"

Cooper's problem? Well, he's sure there's more than a few people who have a theory. Really, he's just got more attitude than any one person should be allowed to have. "Thank you. The only person I seek t'amuse is myself."

What else was he supposed to do with centuries of time? Take himself too seriously and walk around with a gloomy expression like some vampires seemed to do? That wasn't for him. "All kidding aside, you're too young to have that many worries. At your age, things tend to work out on their own."

A Problem Like Maria, Solved. [closed/open]

Will Wonders Never Cease

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i

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iii

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