undergrounds | Whisper the prayer of transformation.

Entry tags:

Whisper the prayer of transformation.

A- Returning to London , the tub

She waited with both great apprehension and joy for her release out of the hospital. Ten years and Alice was already making a list of the things she'd go see. She wanted to see the parks she used to play in, the old ports she would visit, and Hyde Park was on the top of her list. She was practically shaking with excitement when she was waiting patiently for her release. The doctors had given her a slew of medication -- not a surprise. Anti-psychotics, benzodiazepines, SSRIs, and some to help her sleep at night. All of them with a big, bulky folder of directions, phone numbers, and other sort of paperwork with names and such. When she first entered care, she barely spoke a word, and now that she was being let go, Alice barely spoke a word, again. No goodbyes offered, even if nurses, patients, and doctors tried with her, Alice tore out of the hospital without a second look.

She was free again.

Hyde Park was quite a distance away -- she'd have to take public transportation to get there. And, of course, to get a cup of tea on the way there, since her medication often made her feel sluggish. As soon as Alice is out in the real world again, her reaction isn't that of joy and there is no running about. The world is much bigger than she remembered and much more frightening. Alice had left it, deeply shaken. She couldn't really greet anyone on the way back to the subway or anywhere else. She kept her head low, awkwardly rubbing her cheek or combing her hair, all odd little tidbits of hers when she was nervous.

She was terrified. Alice thought to herself what she could possibly be thinking. Upon getting on the old routes her family used to take to the coven (which, by now, Alice had memorized), she took it up to the assigned housing, with only a bag of clothing and her things, nervously teetering away on the train, with her old stuffed rabbit firmly in her arms. Alice was eighteen years old, but her skittish disposition and short, malnourished stature surely presented her as someone much younger and the stuffed rabbit didn't help. She looks like a child and acts the part, ducking her head as people passed by her. While the idea of looking at others filled her with dread, her mind was racing with thoughts and visions.

Today could be an off day.

B - Redbright Institute, because Alice is lost

Two days after her initial release, Alice secluded herself to sleeping in a bed of her own, with no round the clock check ups from doctors. She slept tightly with her rabbit -- but decided that the bed wasn't enough halfway through the night and took to under the bed. When she awoke, Alice was combing through notes and drawings -- clues to her past and where to go. She was obsessed with remembering these things, the jittery little thing kept them in a notebook, pieces of papers popping out of pages. Redbright Institute. Now she remembered, that was one place her father worked at, one place she knew would give her clues to where to go and what to do.

The world was still very much bigger than she thought, so stepping upon the campus isn't what she expected. It was bigger than she remembered and very foreign. And Alice spent a good time pacing about outside, carrying her rabbit firmly in her arms until she worked up the courage to speak.

Sort of.

She probably hadn't spoken a full sentence in months, so her matter of speech was strange, almost monotone and low. Sucking in a breath, the small, Alice tried to ask for help and where to go -- no one helped her, she jumped into this without thinking.

"Sorry," She mutters, keeping her head low and her rabbit close to her chest. She wasn't this meek, she nearly forgot how to interact with others. "I'm lost? Help?"

If that even worked, if she could formulate a sentence, but talking to others again was so difficult.

C - Coffer's Shop

It is not a coffee shop she's familiar with; her father had a penchant for the fancy coffee shops, in which he met some of his colleagues there, or, according to her older sister, he goofed off at them, playing chess with others. Tea sounds nice -- it sounds great. Upon entering the shop, Alice takes a sigh of relief that it's not busy. Still clutching her rabbit in one hand, Alice fumbles with her side bag, feeling around for the coin purse -- she stuck some money in there, she's not sure how much.

What she does remember is the smaller pleasures helped a lot, but ordering tea was proving to be a difficult feat, especially for a girl who was struggling just to talk to others. One step, just one step that was recommended in therapy to deal with social anxiety. She watches how others order and what they do, standing at the counter before she steps up bravely and orders tea.

Just plain chamomile, since anything caffeinated will rile her. As soon as she gets it, Alice nearly runs over a patron, whisking herself to a nice, quiet corner.

"Sorry," She mutters lowly, keeping her rabbit and cup of tea gripped tightly in her hands before she continues.

D - Wildcard!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Then that is how it shall be."

He takes the tea from her carefully, smile still in place, and tilts his head the direction he means to walk -- carefully shifting chairs and things out of the way, clearing a path of sorts. He glances around to make sure nobody else might be intending to come crowd her before setting the tea down carefully on the corner table, turning to offer her another easy smile.

"There we are, will this do?"

His eyes flick over her a second before shifting to take in the rest of the room, not wanting to stare her down too much. She seems nervous, nervous enough that Lancelot wonders if she's truly here alone. Someone with her level of unease would do better with a carer of sorts, he thinks. Unless something has startled her, and this is not how she might normally be? It's almost a worse thought, when he knows he's in no real position to pry.

She watches him with great curiosity -- he seems so genuinely nice that Alice wonders if there's some sort of catch to it. She glances around the coffee shop, watching people pair up with one another or sit in groups, absolutely lively in their discussions. Then there is her, a mess and holding her things tightly and frightened by a simple gesture.

Maybe she can take that chance, just because she wants to drink her tea and hope it helps calm her down. "It's fine," She nods.

Her first obstacle would to be conversing regularly, which still remains a monumental feat, still. She forgets her manners, something that her parents were very critical for her to have. As she slowly sinks down with her rabbit clutched in her arm to her cup of tea, she glances at him and finally remembers, "Thank you, sir. There was no need, you know."

"Not at all, it was hardly out of my way. Are you here by yourself, or waiting for someone?"

He sets his sandwich down on a table next to hers, close enough by that she might talk to him if she so wishes while not crowding her by sitting at the corner table she has chosen.

"Save your friend, there, of course," he adds, gesturing to her rabbit. "My companion is waiting outside, she's a little too big and enthusiastic for coffee shops. Especially with this many people and food. She can't decide if she wants to hide or steal everyone's sandwiches."

"Companion?"

By the way he describes his companion, Alice is expecting a dog. She immediately turns around to the front of the building to gaze out the doorway in hopes to see what could be there. Unfortunately for Alice, she can't see anything and dreads asking this stranger what his comapnion could possibly be.

That would involve being social. At him gesturing her rabbit, Alice pulls it closer to her chest, "What sort of companion?"

"A dog," Lancelot supplies, and shifts in his chair to dig his phone from his pocket -- flicks through his gallery and brings up a picture of a happy looking white dog standing on a small patch of patio in what might be a back garden of some sort. "Her name is Lily, she's about two years old we think. It's hard to be exact because she's a rescue dog, I took her in from Battersea. She's a little bigger than your friend, but she's gentle."

She does not take the phone as much as she's tempted to do. Through her long, dark hair, something lights up on her tired face. She dares to softly smile at the dog. Really, she hadn't dreamed of seeing a white dog so fluffy before, like one of her kittens, Snowdrop, in her childhood.

"She's pretty," Alice comments softly, finding herself a little eager to know there's a dog outside. Of course she would love to see her -- she hadn't seen a dog in ten years and Alice adored animals. "Do they not permit dogs inside?"

"I think they do," he admits, tilting his head in thought as he looks around and slides his phone into his pocket once more. "In truth I had been planning to take my sandwich outside to sit with her, to enjoy the sunshine. I always feel a little selfish bringing a dog inside, just in case she frightens someone without meaning to. She may be as sweet as anything, but I'm quite aware she's fairly big -- and some people are allergic to animals."

She couldn't really fathom anyone being allergic to dogs for that brief, irrational moment. Alice looks up to Lancelot with wide, green eyes. "So she won't be alone."

Alone out there with whatever weirdos the city had. Alice glances around the coffee shop and then to her mug. She works up the courage to finally ask, "If you go outside, may I see her?"

"Of course. The more kind people she meets, the better. It will help her learn not to be afraid."

Which, he suspects, could equally be said for Alice too. She seems to be slowly adjusting to having him there, a little less tense -- perhaps distracted from her nerves by the idea of Lily sitting outside.

"You could take your drink outside, if you wanted, sit with her too. There are a few more people walking past, but that just means you can watch them and try and guess what they might be up to. They're less likely to stop and chat if they aren't inside, unlike me."

Since yes, he does realise he has slightly foisted the conversation upon her.

Alice, who hasn't seen a dog in ten some years, slowly gazes up at him with uncertain eyes. Now?, she almost asks, unsure of whether or not she can actually and truly leave. For a few seconds, Alice falls into an unusual silence, with her eyes glued up at him, still cautious as ever.

She hadn't expected a stranger would be so kind to allow her to see a dog. Rather than bolt up and run out there, she offers a sheepish smile, sliding her dark hair behind her ear.

"Thank you, sir," She means it, really, seeing as she slowly rises up, clutching her things and leaving her rabbit in her bag as it sways with her hesitant steps.

Slowly, she makes it out there, Alice will approach the dog slowly, for not only the dog, but herself.

Lily is sat under a table outside, watching people pass by with curious eyes -- leash gently affixed to a nearby table to stop her adventuring too far. She looks around and up as Lancelot appears, tail swishing over her back curiously, then her eyes lift to Alice. Who is this? She does not know! Is it a friend? Lancelot sets his sandwich down on the table, drops to crouch beside Lily and fusses over her a moment.

"Hello girl," he murmurs, "did you miss me? Well, look, I found a new friend for you. What do you think, mmm?"

The white dog pushes to sit up, shoving her face close to Lancelot and fussing back in turn before shifting to study Alice -- looking between the two of them questioningly. Well? Is this a friend? What should she do? She does not know! Her tail keeps wagging, almost questioningly, and her ears prick forward at Alice. Friend? And what is friend holding? Is that for her?

(Tea is not for dogs, but Lily thinks everything should be for dogs.)

She tries to keep herself from leaping at the dog and burying her face on what looks like really soft fur. She bursts into a smile and keeps her hands suspended until she knows that it's okay to pet her. Alice glances back up to Lancelot, as if to ask if it's alright to pet her.

"What pretty white fur you have!" Only Alice could think a dog was pretty. Alice offers up one shaky hand from her medication out to the dog before she offers one, tentative pat atop of her head.

"And you're so soft, too!" It takes a lot of restraint not to outright try to pick her up -- which Alice knows she can't -- and cuddle her in her lap. She lets out a soft laugh, "Poor dear... is she always so scared?"

Lancelot lets out a huff of amusement himself, carefully steps around the two of them to slide her leash free from the table and sit himself in a chair. Lily gets up onto all fours, looking between the two of them cautiously still but not shying from Alice -- Alice, after all, may be nervous herself but she is not acting in a way that feels threatening. She is slow and cautious just as Lily is herself.

"Not always," Lancelot admits, "you should see her in the garden when I turn the sprinkler on."

Sprinklers are fun to run through, what can she say.

"Lily," Lancelot prompts gently, and she glances back at him questioningly -- ears pricking forward. "Say hello nicely," he says, and she thinks a moment, looks between Alice and Lancelot before sitting down neatly and holding up a paw for Alice almost questioningly. Like this? This is how she gets a treat, yes? That is how it works?

Alice pauses when Lily holds out her paw, surprised, before her face melts into a real smile. Ever so carefully, Alice shakes her paw, as if she were shaking a hand, "You're so cute," She whispers to the dog. Being around an animal melts her, she relaxes finally, almost giggling at Lily. There are no animals in her building and seeing Lily makes her wish she could have her own animal. Alice seems to open up and her voice gains more bravado.

"I'm afraid I don't have a treat for you, missy, I'm sorry." She almost forgets about Lancelot utterly, carefully rubbing her head with a gentle hand, "What does she do when the sprinklers are turned on?"

Lily closes her eyes and pushes her head up into Alice's hand, tail swishing over her back like a fluffy flag.

"She likes to run through them, tries to catch the water in the air" Lancelot answers, taking another small bite of his sandwich as he watches them. Lily drops her paw once its released, lifts it again hesitantly after a moment as if to insist on shaking again. People like that, yes? That is how she gets rewards? This is how she makes the little girl happy?

"Oh, thank you, mister," Alice finally gushing as Lily puts her head into her hand. Once again, Alice has to stop herself from settling herself on this soft, white dog, "She's so lovely! I wish I had a dog or even a cat!"

Alice stops herself from going on a happy little tangent, scratching Lily's head eagerly, "Catch them in the air? How silly! I wish I could see. Oh, sir, do you come here often? With her?"

She would hope so; since animals aren't allowed in her building, seeing this man and his dog would be the best thing about the coffee shop and not the danishes.

"Often enough," he admits. "I have a friend who likes this place. I sometimes come to meet her here. Perhaps I might meet you here too, now. Can I ask your name?"

Since, after all, she knows all about his dog now but they rather skipped introducing themselves to each other. Which, of course, is fine if she doesn't wish to -- but he thinks it would be rude not to offer introductions at all. Especially if he might truly run into her again, either with or without Lily at his side.

Alice is going to find it very hard getting up and leaving Lily when she does leave or does move back outside. She even finds herself very depressed at the thought, visibly frowning as she looks into her eyes. Hopefully, someday, Alice could have an animal of her own, something to keep her company.

"I hope so," Alice confesses -- well, more to the dog, than Lancelot himself. Shyly, Alice looks up, "My name is Alice Liddell, sir."

Lily seems to sense some of the unhappiness in Alice, leans forward to sniff at her a little more and push a wet snout into her face. What is happening? Why is the little girl unhappy? Does she need something? Is she hungry? Is she hurt?

"Lancelot," Lancelot offers in turn, reaching out to gently tap Lily before she goes for a full on face-licking. "Lancelot Dulac. Lily you already know, of course, and she seems quite keen on making sure she knows you too."

A soft huff escapes Alice as Lily presses her snout into her face; she wouldn't mind the face licking. She takes this as a sign she could at least, finally, nuzzle her head against Lily's soft fur, "Dulac?" Alice repeats it, nearly butchering it in the process.

Lancelot was at least easy to remember. It was a very fine, fancy name in Alice's opinion, Lancelot Dulac. Alice wouldn't comment how much she liked it, because she was sure that she looked odd enough, pressing her face right back into the dog, finally letting out a laugh.

"Oh, well, she need not worry, I'll remember her!" It's a little hard to forget a dog trying to lick her face off without much effort. "I can't thank you enough, Mr. Dulac. I hope I can see the both of you more often! I can bring dog treats for her, too, if you like."

"Of course! I'm sure she'd like that, although perhaps not too many or she might need a bigger collar, mmm?"

Lily huffs excitedly, squirming as Alice presses her face against her and wriggling to try and get free enough to lick her. This seems like a good game! They should play some more! Does Alice want to play?

"Careful," he chides Lily gently as she squirms and bounces to put her paws up on Alice. Lily may be very fluffy but she is still a decently sized dog, and sometimes she forgets her own strength.

"Of course," Alice doesn't seem to be putting up much of a fight to stay centered on the sidewalk; if Lily ended up knocking her down, Alice certainly wouldn't be upset by it. "I'll keep it in mind, as much as it would pain me not to shower her with treats."

Alice would like to play, but she is unsure how long she can stay here. She pulls away from Lily, smiling down at her. Cup of tea still gripped in one hand, Alice scratches under her chin, "I hope I can have a dog just as lovely as she is someday. The Coffer's Shop is supposed to be a good place to study, yes?"

"I should think it's good enough. My studying days are long behind me, I'm afraid, so I wouldn't be the best person to ask -- but I do see a fair few students coming and going. It's busy some days, but at least a little quieter than some of the big chain places."

Lancelot reaches out to gently encourage Lily to turn back toward him as she leans in to lick Alice, wrinkling his nose at the doggy kisses at trying to calm her down before she gets too over excited.

"Come one," he murmurs, "not everyone likes that, mmm? Keep your kisses to yourself, there's a good girl."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Whisper the prayer of transformation.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject