Aʟɪᴄᴇ Pʟᴇᴀsᴀɴᴄᴇ Lɪᴅᴅᴇʟʟ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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undergrounds2015-08-17 05:59 pm
digophelia) wrote in undergrounds2015-08-17 05:59 pm
Entry tags:
Whisper the prayer of transformation.
A- Returning to London , the tub
She waited with both great apprehension and joy for her release out of the hospital. Ten years and Alice was already making a list of the things she'd go see. She wanted to see the parks she used to play in, the old ports she would visit, and Hyde Park was on the top of her list. She was practically shaking with excitement when she was waiting patiently for her release. The doctors had given her a slew of medication -- not a surprise. Anti-psychotics, benzodiazepines, SSRIs, and some to help her sleep at night. All of them with a big, bulky folder of directions, phone numbers, and other sort of paperwork with names and such. When she first entered care, she barely spoke a word, and now that she was being let go, Alice barely spoke a word, again. No goodbyes offered, even if nurses, patients, and doctors tried with her, Alice tore out of the hospital without a second look.
She was free again.
Hyde Park was quite a distance away -- she'd have to take public transportation to get there. And, of course, to get a cup of tea on the way there, since her medication often made her feel sluggish. As soon as Alice is out in the real world again, her reaction isn't that of joy and there is no running about. The world is much bigger than she remembered and much more frightening. Alice had left it, deeply shaken. She couldn't really greet anyone on the way back to the subway or anywhere else. She kept her head low, awkwardly rubbing her cheek or combing her hair, all odd little tidbits of hers when she was nervous.
She was terrified. Alice thought to herself what she could possibly be thinking. Upon getting on the old routes her family used to take to the coven (which, by now, Alice had memorized), she took it up to the assigned housing, with only a bag of clothing and her things, nervously teetering away on the train, with her old stuffed rabbit firmly in her arms. Alice was eighteen years old, but her skittish disposition and short, malnourished stature surely presented her as someone much younger and the stuffed rabbit didn't help. She looks like a child and acts the part, ducking her head as people passed by her. While the idea of looking at others filled her with dread, her mind was racing with thoughts and visions.
Today could be an off day.
B - Redbright Institute, because Alice is lost
Two days after her initial release, Alice secluded herself to sleeping in a bed of her own, with no round the clock check ups from doctors. She slept tightly with her rabbit -- but decided that the bed wasn't enough halfway through the night and took to under the bed. When she awoke, Alice was combing through notes and drawings -- clues to her past and where to go. She was obsessed with remembering these things, the jittery little thing kept them in a notebook, pieces of papers popping out of pages. Redbright Institute. Now she remembered, that was one place her father worked at, one place she knew would give her clues to where to go and what to do.
The world was still very much bigger than she thought, so stepping upon the campus isn't what she expected. It was bigger than she remembered and very foreign. And Alice spent a good time pacing about outside, carrying her rabbit firmly in her arms until she worked up the courage to speak.
Sort of.
She probably hadn't spoken a full sentence in months, so her matter of speech was strange, almost monotone and low. Sucking in a breath, the small, Alice tried to ask for help and where to go -- no one helped her, she jumped into this without thinking.
"Sorry," She mutters, keeping her head low and her rabbit close to her chest. She wasn't this meek, she nearly forgot how to interact with others. "I'm lost? Help?"
If that even worked, if she could formulate a sentence, but talking to others again was so difficult.
C - Coffer's Shop
It is not a coffee shop she's familiar with; her father had a penchant for the fancy coffee shops, in which he met some of his colleagues there, or, according to her older sister, he goofed off at them, playing chess with others. Tea sounds nice -- it sounds great. Upon entering the shop, Alice takes a sigh of relief that it's not busy. Still clutching her rabbit in one hand, Alice fumbles with her side bag, feeling around for the coin purse -- she stuck some money in there, she's not sure how much.
What she does remember is the smaller pleasures helped a lot, but ordering tea was proving to be a difficult feat, especially for a girl who was struggling just to talk to others. One step, just one step that was recommended in therapy to deal with social anxiety. She watches how others order and what they do, standing at the counter before she steps up bravely and orders tea.
Just plain chamomile, since anything caffeinated will rile her. As soon as she gets it, Alice nearly runs over a patron, whisking herself to a nice, quiet corner.
"Sorry," She mutters lowly, keeping her rabbit and cup of tea gripped tightly in her hands before she continues.
D - Wildcard!
She waited with both great apprehension and joy for her release out of the hospital. Ten years and Alice was already making a list of the things she'd go see. She wanted to see the parks she used to play in, the old ports she would visit, and Hyde Park was on the top of her list. She was practically shaking with excitement when she was waiting patiently for her release. The doctors had given her a slew of medication -- not a surprise. Anti-psychotics, benzodiazepines, SSRIs, and some to help her sleep at night. All of them with a big, bulky folder of directions, phone numbers, and other sort of paperwork with names and such. When she first entered care, she barely spoke a word, and now that she was being let go, Alice barely spoke a word, again. No goodbyes offered, even if nurses, patients, and doctors tried with her, Alice tore out of the hospital without a second look.
She was free again.
Hyde Park was quite a distance away -- she'd have to take public transportation to get there. And, of course, to get a cup of tea on the way there, since her medication often made her feel sluggish. As soon as Alice is out in the real world again, her reaction isn't that of joy and there is no running about. The world is much bigger than she remembered and much more frightening. Alice had left it, deeply shaken. She couldn't really greet anyone on the way back to the subway or anywhere else. She kept her head low, awkwardly rubbing her cheek or combing her hair, all odd little tidbits of hers when she was nervous.
She was terrified. Alice thought to herself what she could possibly be thinking. Upon getting on the old routes her family used to take to the coven (which, by now, Alice had memorized), she took it up to the assigned housing, with only a bag of clothing and her things, nervously teetering away on the train, with her old stuffed rabbit firmly in her arms. Alice was eighteen years old, but her skittish disposition and short, malnourished stature surely presented her as someone much younger and the stuffed rabbit didn't help. She looks like a child and acts the part, ducking her head as people passed by her. While the idea of looking at others filled her with dread, her mind was racing with thoughts and visions.
Today could be an off day.
B - Redbright Institute, because Alice is lost
Two days after her initial release, Alice secluded herself to sleeping in a bed of her own, with no round the clock check ups from doctors. She slept tightly with her rabbit -- but decided that the bed wasn't enough halfway through the night and took to under the bed. When she awoke, Alice was combing through notes and drawings -- clues to her past and where to go. She was obsessed with remembering these things, the jittery little thing kept them in a notebook, pieces of papers popping out of pages. Redbright Institute. Now she remembered, that was one place her father worked at, one place she knew would give her clues to where to go and what to do.
The world was still very much bigger than she thought, so stepping upon the campus isn't what she expected. It was bigger than she remembered and very foreign. And Alice spent a good time pacing about outside, carrying her rabbit firmly in her arms until she worked up the courage to speak.
Sort of.
She probably hadn't spoken a full sentence in months, so her matter of speech was strange, almost monotone and low. Sucking in a breath, the small, Alice tried to ask for help and where to go -- no one helped her, she jumped into this without thinking.
"Sorry," She mutters, keeping her head low and her rabbit close to her chest. She wasn't this meek, she nearly forgot how to interact with others. "I'm lost? Help?"
If that even worked, if she could formulate a sentence, but talking to others again was so difficult.
C - Coffer's Shop
It is not a coffee shop she's familiar with; her father had a penchant for the fancy coffee shops, in which he met some of his colleagues there, or, according to her older sister, he goofed off at them, playing chess with others. Tea sounds nice -- it sounds great. Upon entering the shop, Alice takes a sigh of relief that it's not busy. Still clutching her rabbit in one hand, Alice fumbles with her side bag, feeling around for the coin purse -- she stuck some money in there, she's not sure how much.
What she does remember is the smaller pleasures helped a lot, but ordering tea was proving to be a difficult feat, especially for a girl who was struggling just to talk to others. One step, just one step that was recommended in therapy to deal with social anxiety. She watches how others order and what they do, standing at the counter before she steps up bravely and orders tea.
Just plain chamomile, since anything caffeinated will rile her. As soon as she gets it, Alice nearly runs over a patron, whisking herself to a nice, quiet corner.
"Sorry," She mutters lowly, keeping her rabbit and cup of tea gripped tightly in her hands before she continues.
D - Wildcard!
no subject
"Hello girl," he murmurs, "did you miss me? Well, look, I found a new friend for you. What do you think, mmm?"
The white dog pushes to sit up, shoving her face close to Lancelot and fussing back in turn before shifting to study Alice -- looking between the two of them questioningly. Well? Is this a friend? What should she do? She does not know! Her tail keeps wagging, almost questioningly, and her ears prick forward at Alice. Friend? And what is friend holding? Is that for her?
(Tea is not for dogs, but Lily thinks everything should be for dogs.)
no subject
"What pretty white fur you have!" Only Alice could think a dog was pretty. Alice offers up one shaky hand from her medication out to the dog before she offers one, tentative pat atop of her head.
"And you're so soft, too!" It takes a lot of restraint not to outright try to pick her up -- which Alice knows she can't -- and cuddle her in her lap. She lets out a soft laugh, "Poor dear... is she always so scared?"
no subject
"Not always," Lancelot admits, "you should see her in the garden when I turn the sprinkler on."
Sprinklers are fun to run through, what can she say.
"Lily," Lancelot prompts gently, and she glances back at him questioningly -- ears pricking forward. "Say hello nicely," he says, and she thinks a moment, looks between Alice and Lancelot before sitting down neatly and holding up a paw for Alice almost questioningly. Like this? This is how she gets a treat, yes? That is how it works?
no subject
"I'm afraid I don't have a treat for you, missy, I'm sorry." She almost forgets about Lancelot utterly, carefully rubbing her head with a gentle hand, "What does she do when the sprinklers are turned on?"
no subject
"She likes to run through them, tries to catch the water in the air" Lancelot answers, taking another small bite of his sandwich as he watches them. Lily drops her paw once its released, lifts it again hesitantly after a moment as if to insist on shaking again. People like that, yes? That is how she gets rewards? This is how she makes the little girl happy?
no subject
Alice stops herself from going on a happy little tangent, scratching Lily's head eagerly, "Catch them in the air? How silly! I wish I could see. Oh, sir, do you come here often? With her?"
She would hope so; since animals aren't allowed in her building, seeing this man and his dog would be the best thing about the coffee shop and not the danishes.
no subject
Since, after all, she knows all about his dog now but they rather skipped introducing themselves to each other. Which, of course, is fine if she doesn't wish to -- but he thinks it would be rude not to offer introductions at all. Especially if he might truly run into her again, either with or without Lily at his side.
no subject
"I hope so," Alice confesses -- well, more to the dog, than Lancelot himself. Shyly, Alice looks up, "My name is Alice Liddell, sir."
no subject
"Lancelot," Lancelot offers in turn, reaching out to gently tap Lily before she goes for a full on face-licking. "Lancelot Dulac. Lily you already know, of course, and she seems quite keen on making sure she knows you too."
no subject
Lancelot was at least easy to remember. It was a very fine, fancy name in Alice's opinion, Lancelot Dulac. Alice wouldn't comment how much she liked it, because she was sure that she looked odd enough, pressing her face right back into the dog, finally letting out a laugh.
"Oh, well, she need not worry, I'll remember her!" It's a little hard to forget a dog trying to lick her face off without much effort. "I can't thank you enough, Mr. Dulac. I hope I can see the both of you more often! I can bring dog treats for her, too, if you like."
no subject
Lily huffs excitedly, squirming as Alice presses her face against her and wriggling to try and get free enough to lick her. This seems like a good game! They should play some more! Does Alice want to play?
"Careful," he chides Lily gently as she squirms and bounces to put her paws up on Alice. Lily may be very fluffy but she is still a decently sized dog, and sometimes she forgets her own strength.
no subject
Alice would like to play, but she is unsure how long she can stay here. She pulls away from Lily, smiling down at her. Cup of tea still gripped in one hand, Alice scratches under her chin, "I hope I can have a dog just as lovely as she is someday. The Coffer's Shop is supposed to be a good place to study, yes?"
no subject
Lancelot reaches out to gently encourage Lily to turn back toward him as she leans in to lick Alice, wrinkling his nose at the doggy kisses at trying to calm her down before she gets too over excited.
"Come one," he murmurs, "not everyone likes that, mmm? Keep your kisses to yourself, there's a good girl."