Uchiha Sasuke (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
eyeforaneye) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
undergrounds2015-05-26 05:27 pm
eyeforaneye) wrote in undergrounds2015-05-26 05:27 pm
Entry tags:
Harvey's Hardware, for all your pipe bomb needs [OPEN]
Harvey's Hardware seems like a perfectly innocuous establishment in the southwest corner of Ealing. Old, not terribly well taken care of, but stocked to the brim with a huge assortment of tools and supplies of varying quality (and age). When was the last time anyone came to inspect this place?
Regardless, upon stepping inside you'll find no one named Harvey on the property at all. Instead there's a surly young man behind the counter, someone who looks both tired and wholly too alert at the same time, armed with a thermos of coffee, a stack of manuals on fixing god knows what, and a book of Gaelic poetry.
[A]
Maybe you're just perusing the shelves, minding your own business, when you hear a voice from the till: "Loitering's prohibited. There's a sign outside that says so. If you need something specific, ask." Rude tactic but you'd be amazed at how much product Sasuke can move out of this place by being pushy.
[B]
Maybe instead you were lured in by the sign in the window that advertises a 'buy one get one free' deal on all items of equivalent value in the store. Maybe you even went so far as to ask about the promotion. The answer?
"That sign is from 2009. The guy that worked here before me glued it on instead of affixing it normally. The boss found out last year when he tried to remove it, and that's why he isn't here anymore." All that to say... "That deal's invalid. No discounts."
[C]
Or maybe you're just here to ask for recommendations or buy some hardware. Up to you! Feel free to message me if you have something specific in mind that you want set up.
Regardless, upon stepping inside you'll find no one named Harvey on the property at all. Instead there's a surly young man behind the counter, someone who looks both tired and wholly too alert at the same time, armed with a thermos of coffee, a stack of manuals on fixing god knows what, and a book of Gaelic poetry.
[A]
Maybe you're just perusing the shelves, minding your own business, when you hear a voice from the till: "Loitering's prohibited. There's a sign outside that says so. If you need something specific, ask." Rude tactic but you'd be amazed at how much product Sasuke can move out of this place by being pushy.
[B]
Maybe instead you were lured in by the sign in the window that advertises a 'buy one get one free' deal on all items of equivalent value in the store. Maybe you even went so far as to ask about the promotion. The answer?
"That sign is from 2009. The guy that worked here before me glued it on instead of affixing it normally. The boss found out last year when he tried to remove it, and that's why he isn't here anymore." All that to say... "That deal's invalid. No discounts."
[C]
Or maybe you're just here to ask for recommendations or buy some hardware. Up to you! Feel free to message me if you have something specific in mind that you want set up.
don't you quote that evil at me
"Though it's better if you don't tell Barton that I'm giving it to you. I allowed him to buy the chemicals needed to synthesize his own without letting him know I had this in stock." Not deception, really, just a lack of helpful cashiering.
"Anything else?"
#yolo
"Got it. His fault for not asking. Got twice the cost out of 'im, didn't you?"
The only thing he misses about his group of idiots in America: pranking the stupid newbies.
you're tearing me apart
Sure. That's probably it. He starts ringing up the order, securing a bottle from beneath the register and placing it in plain view.
it's how i show love
It's just idle commentary while counting bills in advance, braced for the inevitable overcharge. Hopefully Barton's homeless. Or else there's no justice in the world except death.
I am not feeling this love
"In a job as thankless as his? As yours too, I'd assume? Must be. Your hobbies don't seem particularly untwisted either, though." Yeah, man. And the price is high, sure, but nothing exorbitant. Certainly cheaper than trying to get these items any other way.
has it taken its toll on you?
Thankless jobs are not well-paying jobs, unless you're grabbing high-profile hits twice a week but. He does that. Still broke. Dammit Barton.
There's a glance at the price, a bit surprised at not being ripped off under the table. Extra points for London. "And it's not a hobby, it's an experiment."
... That is not much better.
I hate you
Here he gives that bottle a significant look, however. "... if that's your idea of an experiment then you should buy some insurance first."
<3
"I don't care enough to make it mine." If Barton wants to hang out in Blocked Entirely By Sylvia's Territories Why Does No One Notice That Land, then by all means. He's not getting involved in that noise any more than necessary.
There's a pause when counting, glancing at the bottle as well. A beat. Then just handing out the charged price. Judge him all you want, you're not his mom. "I won't wash my hands with it."
1/2
2/2
"Willing to give your name? I can get ahold of you when I get in new shipments."
no subject
Which doubles as a 'yes I know what I'm doing' and making his hobbies seem infinitely more questionable.
That second part earns a knee-jerk no, but it's a fair enough offer. "Do you need me to sign up for a mailing list?"
Phone number, fine. Everything else, hell no.
no subject
Maybe.
"I can do that if you want, sure. I have a form. You can make up a term of address, I just need something you'll recognize and respond to." FWAP, the form is slapped down. It's ancient.
no subject
'Maybe'. Pssh.
"The name isn't the issue." The issue is being a reclusive paranoid asshole, so only the name 'Wright' is filled out along with a phone number. And thus the form is done. "You might stand to at least update the paperwork."
no subject
"Without an influx of business this place has an expiration date. I'm not going to spend the time and money updating all of it without knowing if there's a purpose. Your suggestion's noted, though." There's not even a sarcastic or cruel tone to it, just stating facts.
"Do you just want updates on chemical shipments?"
no subject
Just stating facts, if a shade bit more monotone than Sasuke's own commentary. Running an organization of crazy cultists teaches some fun life lessons. Like subordinates are always stupid, and that front operations are dumb unless it's a 7-11.
"On everything. Restocking every month is commonplace."
no subject
It'd be more lucrative to go with your plan. With the new foot traffic that I can already attribute to people affiliated with Hillingdon, I'd been considering it anyway. This place doesn't have a future."
... "Do you need a receipt?"
no subject
Translation: pack up your contraband and just book it. Doubtful the store owner will give a damn, let alone notice. Fuck that guy.
"No." There's no information on it that ties to him, no reason to burn it like with paid in plastic transactions. He doesn't even ask for a bag, the acid treated with all the care of someone carrying water. "Thanks. Good luck with your job security."
no subject
"Careful not to rock that too much or you'll encounter some issues. I'll give you a call regarding the next shipment, Wright." Well that was a more pleasant exchange than usual.