Harvey's Hardware, for all your pipe bomb needs [OPEN]

[eyeforaneye]

Harvey's Hardware seems like a perfectly innocuous establishment in the southwest corner of Ealing. Old, not terribly well taken care of, but stocked to the brim with a huge assortment of tools and supplies of varying quality (and age). When was the last time anyone came to inspect this place?

Regardless, upon stepping inside you'll find no one named Harvey on the property at all. Instead there's a surly young man behind the counter, someone who looks both tired and wholly too alert at the same time, armed with a thermos of coffee, a stack of manuals on fixing god knows what, and a book of Gaelic poetry.

[A]

Maybe you're just perusing the shelves, minding your own business, when you hear a voice from the till: "Loitering's prohibited. There's a sign outside that says so. If you need something specific, ask." Rude tactic but you'd be amazed at how much product Sasuke can move out of this place by being pushy.

[B]

Maybe instead you were lured in by the sign in the window that advertises a 'buy one get one free' deal on all items of equivalent value in the store. Maybe you even went so far as to ask about the promotion. The answer?

"That sign is from 2009. The guy that worked here before me glued it on instead of affixing it normally. The boss found out last year when he tried to remove it, and that's why he isn't here anymore." All that to say... "That deal's invalid. No discounts."

[C]

Or maybe you're just here to ask for recommendations or buy some hardware. Up to you! Feel free to message me if you have something specific in mind that you want set up.

Comments

[mensrea]

Cue several long seconds of fish-mouth gaping before Stiles suddenly straightens, giving Sasuke a knowing look.

"Ohhh, I get it."

He grins a bit, visibly pleased, and then resumes putting down coppers.

"You're trying to ask me out, right? That's really sweet, dude. I'm touched. Are you planning on Facebook stalking me? I should probably delete some pictures..."

The wallet is snapped shut so that Stiles can take out his smartphone to, apparently, do just that.

[eyeforaneye]

W h y, again. Oh my god, PAY FOR YOUR DAMN HAMMERS.

"If I were trying to ask you out then you would know because I'd be far more direct than you'd ever be prepared for." Is this... is this a threat?

"Start with your name; I have a form to fill out." And indeed he does. One from 1987. One that he slaps on the countertop, pen in hand.

[mensrea]

It kind of sounded like a threat, so Stiles just blinks dumbly while trying to process the idea. Far more direct…than he’d ever be prepared for?

“What, like you’d strip off your clothes or something?”

Guess what, Sasuke—you’re not the only one with no filter. Stiles is genuinely trying to figure out what the other boy was insinuating. And totally not answering the question.

[eyeforaneye]

He should definitely just deny that accusation and move on. This is the last thing in the world to get competitive over, and one of the worst people with whom to try to have a good logical argument. Right.

"As if I'd tell you and give you the chance to prepare after all." Damn. "You don't have a hope of ever knowing, now focus your easily distracted mind. You're turning out to be a really subpar customer." Who says judgment in retail can only go one way.

[mensrea]

"Excuse you!"

Scoffing, he picks up a wrench and pointedly puts it on a shelf nearby. Take that. Now you'll get less of his money! Ha! The gesture is not nearly half as impressive as he thinks it is.

"I'm not sure what's going on in that freaky head of yours, dude, because the only appropriate response to a guy stripping in front of me is turning away. No prep is needed, trust me."

[eyeforaneye]

... the look he gives him as he slowly begins re-ringing the order is markedly less than pleasant, and he's in no way apologetic. Or bothered by the minor loss.

"Then we're in agreement. If you're done with that side journey into my personal life --" What personal life. "-- then you'll fill out the form like I told you to a long time ago."

[mensrea]

"What, so you can journey into my personal life? Just make stuff up!"

Stiles puts down three coppers. One of them has gum stuck to it.

[eyeforaneye]

"I don't lie. It's against my personal code." Yeah. "And clean that first; it's a biological health code violation."

[mensrea]

"Ugh, whatever!"

Stiles picks up the offending copper and scrapes it against the edge of the counter. Gross. Meanwhile, he gives off details for the mailing list.

"First name Abel," he says with a very put-upon sigh.

[eyeforaneye]

He just stares at where the gum was wiped off. Just stares. As if that might be a hint to not do that again.

"Abel." His writing is nearly calligraphic as he scribbles it down, the 'l' in particular having an unnecessary flourish. "Last name?"

[mensrea]

Hint not taken. If only Stiles had another gum-encrusted pence...

Anyway, he's too distracted by his opening. "N. Willing."

A pause. Then Stiles is doing double hand guns at Sasuke, like he's the most clever and funniest guy in the world. Get it, Sasuke!? Abel N. Willing!? APPRECIATE HIS WIT.

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[eyeforaneye]

"I'm charging you for the spanner. And I need to see your identification anyway if you're attempting to purchase blades from this shop. Now...



Do you want a rewards card?"

[mensrea]

It’s the last straw that breaks the camel’s back. With an aggrieved wail, Stiles throws his hands up toward the heavens (which, in this case, happen to be a dingy, low ceiling). There’s no winning with this guy! Maybe someone else would simply leave the store in disgust, but Stiles has the penchant of investing time in useless pursuits. Planting his hands down on the counter, he leans over the few dozen coppers and assortment of items. If Sasuke doesn’t back up, he’s about to get up close and personal with a very fidgety human boy.

“Oh my god, you are killing me here. Like, do you even have any friends? Why don’t you go ahead and charge me for the other spanner that’s apparently stuck up your ass.”

All this because of Sasuke’s deadpan response to an awful joke.

[eyeforaneye]

His initial reaction is just to stare and try to parse what's happening right in front of him, or what kind of life this guy must lead to have these kinds of hysterical reactions so often. Little does he know that the same thing is happening in reverse, just with regards to his own straight-laced manner.

He does not back up, refusing to give ground in his own shop, thank you very much.

"... No. I don't have any friends." Not really. "I'm just trying to figure out what exactly you're planning on buying here so I don't have to keep ringing it up again and again. You don't want the card, I'm guessing?"

[mensrea]

Okay, well, now this is awkward. Way too close for his own personal comfort, Stiles glares hard at the sales clerk for a moment before hurriedly retreating back into his own personal space. If that had been a game of gay chicken, he would have lost so hard. His consolation prize is the fact that at least he has friends. Except that feels less and less like something to boast about by the minute.

"No, I don't want the—are you being serious, here?" Genuinely concerned in spite of himself, he fixes Sasuke with a look that is 100% pity. "No friends? None at all?"

[eyeforaneye]

Well, allow him to take the time to tuck that piece of plastic away again, one of approximately six cards that he still has left due to how underfunded and understocked this particular store is. Oh sure, stocked in dangerous items that are nearly a decade old, not a problem, but in actual retail equipment? Less so.

And when he's re-tallied the total for the final time -- without the spanner; it'd been an idle threat only -- he looks up to catch that expression. It's one that he's very familiar with, and one that he loathes with equal passion.

"Don't act surprised. Now whenever you're ready with your identification I can finish the order."

[mensrea]

Honestly Sasuke, your perseverance in trying to wrap up the transaction should be awarded. But it is instead continued to be tested; Stiles clearly has no intention of letting the friend issue drop. Folding his arms over his chest, he falls silent for a moment to appraise the other boy. Prickly though he may be, he’s at least not on Jackson levels of douchebaggery. That’s probably a good sign. And hey, maybe the kid is just lonely.

“How come?”

Stiles doesn’t know where he’d be in life without his friends—or friend, more accurately. After his mother’s death, he would have withered without the support of Scott.

“Doesn’t that bother you? Not having friends?”

[eyeforaneye]

He chides himself for not having expected this from even just what little he's learned about Stiles throughout this entire ordeal. Easily distracted and far too willing to devote his time to incredibly worthless pursuits.

"How I feel about it is irrelevant. I'm unwilling to compromise who I am and what my priorities are in order to make myself attractive as a friend." Translation: I'm crabby and busy and those are not popular traits. "I've had a friend before and it ended up becoming too complicated." Please do not get him started talking about Naruto.

"Identification. Now."

[mensrea]

That's undeniably Stiles in a nutshell.

"Fine, take a chill pill."

With a roll of his eyes, he finally digs out his ID and hands it over as opposed to verbally giving his details. That doesn't mean that they're done with the conversation, however.

"Y'know, you sound like you're a fifty-something-year-old Corporate America business tycoon. It's kinda ridiculous. What priorities could you have that would make having friends so difficult? Even assholes can manage it."

There's an implication there that Sasuke isn't being qualified as an asshole, since Stiles has decided the guy is just weird.

[eyeforaneye]

He wonders if he should be offended; he's definitely earned 'asshole' by now, surely. Or arsehole.

"You really want to talk about this? Fine. I don't have a lot of free time, I'm severe, I have anger issues, I'm unpleasant, I'm not a good conversationalist, and I have no skill for maintaining relationships in a healthy way. Are we done?" A snap of that self-diagnosed temper finally, a show of genuine emotion.

"... I'm fine as I am, and your information's clear." He hands the card back without incident, at least.

[mensrea]

Somewhat taken aback that the tiger has finally snarled at him after being relentlessly poked, he stands on the opposite side of the counter awkwardly. He’s not really sure what to make of Sasuke, except that it definitely sounds like the guy has Issues with a capital I. But while Stiles may be chatty and annoyingly persistent, he isn’t exactly a charitable person; he isn’t the type to try and make friends with someone simply because that someone has no one else.

“Dude, those tend to be the personality flaws that come from not having friends or, really, anyone.”

Taking the ID back, he slides it into his wallet and reflects that, at the very least, the clerk was cool enough not to mock his real name. That’s got to count for something.