undergrounds | I for one welcome our new witchy overlords [Open]

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I for one welcome our new witchy overlords [Open]

A: Welcome to Cafe Poirot
On odd days of the week, Heiji spent his time mingling with customers as a part-time waiter for a small cafe in Barnet. A bit of a customer favorite, he could often be found serving coffee, recommending menu items, or chatting during slow periods and exchanging news about recent events. Like the sudden seizure of Barnet by the Reds, for example...

For about an hour on this particular day, however, Heiji brought his violin in, spent a brief minute or two tuning, then began to play. His bow sang across the strings in long, fluid sweeps, mingling with the enticing smells of coffee and cake...

B: Something in the Mist
Night wasn't always a safe time in London, especially when the streets were shrouded in fog. But travelers along certain side streets might find themselves party to glimpses of ghostly blue flame. And if they should for some reason find themselves drawn to follow that flame, they'd only be falling under the same spectral influence that had been bewitching their fellows for an age.

But didn't it seem like they weren't quite alone? Like something was... watching them?

C: Other
Heiji will be doing a lot of wandering and exploring around the city, in human form or as a mundane-looking fox during the day and possibly as a much larger, clearly supernatural fox at night. Let me know if you want to do anything in particular or shoot ideas back and forth.

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Cooper really should have known better. He'd been around long enough to know that following mysterious blue flames would lead to nothing good. But he couldn't help himself. Something drew the vampire in, making him follow the flames from one spot to the next. If something hinky came up, he was confident that he could handle it. And judging from the feeling he got of eyes watching him, there was definitely something up about this whole situation.

The flames led to a clearing in a small park, where the trees seemed strangely overgrown. No other people were around, though by all rights they should have been. As the mist lifted a bit, a creature came into view: a large black fox, easily the size of a living room. Five long tails curled and waved in the air behind it. It spoke without moving its mouth.

"Allow me to put you to a test."

What was it going to ask? Would it test the newcomer's bravery? Their code of ethics? Their pH level?

Which of the following is Queen Elizabeth II not actually queen of?
- Queen of England
- Queen of Australia
- Queen of Canada
- Queen of Barbados

Cooper eyes the enormous critter warily. He knows just enough about Japanese mythology to recognize a kitsune when he sees one. He tries to remember anything about what their powers are supposed to be. He can't remember if they follow the English stereotypes about trickster foxes.

The question gets the fox a puzzled blink. What has he gotten himself into here? "Er, am I allowed to ask Google?" Hey, the fox hadn't said anything about not being able to use his smartphone.

"I'm testing you, not your favorite search engine," said the fox, so apparently the answer was no.

"No phoning a friend, either."

"Alright, alright." Great, he'd gotten roped into the supernatural version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. He thought about the question for a long moment, apparently in no hurry to answer.

Finally, he said with no great confidence, "Queen of Canada."

The fox looked mildly disappointed. "The Queen is Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, as well as Australia, Canada, and Barbados. But England hasn't been a separate and sovereign state since the 18th century. Therefore the title 'Queen of England' is technically incorrect."

Which of the following superstitions have humans not traditionally harbored about vampires?
- An obsession with counting
- Like to eat nail clippings
- Hate pizza with anchovies
- Able to detach their heads

Personally, he thinks that it's a bit unfair to pose a trick question with wordplay, but he knows that fae don't play fair. Cooper's just miffed that he missed one that he probably should have known.

The second one he feels a bit more confidence on. If he didn't, he'd have to turn in his vampire card for good. "Hate pizza with anchovies."

Heiji had actually considered the question a softball. He looked pleased nonetheless, at least from the way his tails swirled about in the misty air.

"Correct!"

What was the name of Thomas Hutter's client in the 1922 film Nosferatu?
- Count Orlock
- Count Morlock
- Count Roloc
- Count Dracula

Now this one he knows for certain. Cooper's absorbed God-only-knows how much pop culture over the past one hundred years. Normally, the knowledge is usually useless, but eventually it had to come in handy. He answers with certainty, "Count Orlock."

"Also correct! Well, two out of three isn't bad." Heiji put a paw down on the grass, then withdrew it. The print on the ground burned fiercely for a moment with ghostly fire as its owner backed away into the mist. Once the flame faded, it would reveal an old golden pirate doubloon.

What was a fox doing with a pirate doubloon?

It was a mystery.

The door chime rings as Eren enters the café a good several minutes before the start of his shift. As a new hire who'd started this week, he still has yet to meet all of the staff, but the lovely sound of Heiji’s playing certainly makes for a striking first impression.

He stands there for a moment, listening with mildly captivated interest, not wanting to interrupt but knowing that he should probably introduce himself. Once the current song comes to its end, he makes his move, taking a step forward to greet his new coworker. “Not bad. You’re pretty good at that.”

Heiji slipped the instrument back into his case and shut it. He'd been surprised, to say the least, when Eren had showed up looking for work. But werewolves had to do part-time, too, it seemed. And even if it did make him just a teensy bit uneasy to have one around, he had to admit that Eren was a pretty good worker by reputation.

So he stuck out a hand. "Thanks! Guess those lessons finally paid off. You're Eren? I'm Heiji. If there's anything you need help with, lemme know! Oh yeah, and I don't know if they told you, but they feed us in the kitchen just before the lunch and dinner rush."

Yes, even werewolves needed to part-time. Bounties and odd jobs could only take one so far. Besides, a splash of normalcy in life could sometimes be a good thing. And it didn't get much more normal than working at a cafe.

Eren smiled, taking the offered hand with little hesitance and giving it a firm shake. If he'd known that Heiji was fae, he might have felt a little uneasy as well, but for the moment, he remained blissfully unaware. "That's nice of them. And yeah, I'll probably need to take you up on that offer. I'm still getting used to lots of stuff."

With greetings out of the way, he quickly slipped into the back room to put away his things, returning moments later while still half focused on the task of tying his apron. "So, do you play the violin because it goes with the detective vibe of this place? You know - like what's-his-face played in the books."

Ignorance was bliss...

Heiji grinned at the mention of detectives. "Well, that's the reason the boss asked me to do it, yeah -- although I don't remember Poirot himself ever takin' it up. Bet he could've, though, if he wanted."

"Anyhow, the reason I started was pretty typical. My folks thought I should take up an instrument. What about you, you play anything?" Luckily, this was a rather slow time at the cafe; it looked like they had a bit of opportunity to chat.

"Not Poirot. The one with the silly pipe." You know. The other detective what's-his-face.

"But no, creative stuff like that is beyond me. Doubt I'd even be able to make one of those little leaf designs on the top of the lattes." Eren shrugged. He wasn't trying to be down on himself, but it was important to know where one's own weaknesses were.

Heiji laughed. "Yeah, I know what you're talkin' about."

He tucked his instrument behind the counter. "Does that mean we shouldn't enlist your help decoratin' the store? 'Cause we do that every once in a while. Probably got a tree in the back for Christmas."

"I can hold the latter?" Eren suggested, jokingly. In spite of his usual distaste for religion, potentially getting to help put up Christmas lights or hang ornaments on a tree was something he was sort of looking forward to. He was about to say as much when a new customer walked in.

"Oh, a customer." Suddenly all business, he turned to Heiji. "Okay, show me your technique. I'll take notes."

Christmas trees were kind of the best. At the sound of the door, however, Heiji grinned and plucked two menus out of the pile. "Hey, Tabby! Gettin' the usual?"

The first one in, a girl with chin-length blonde hair, giggled. "Hi, Heiji! I might try something different today." She motioned to her friend. "This is Eileen." The second girl, a brunette, waved.

"Alright, then let's get you two seated." He led them to a booth seat by the window and handed them their menus. "By the way, this is Eren! He's new here, so be nice to him, okay?"

...Actually, Eileen seemed to be eyeing Eren up and down.

"Uh. Nice to meet you!"

Unfortunately for Eileen, when it came to the nuances of attraction, Eren was less perceptive than a blindfolded mole. The implications of 'The Look' were simply beyond him. He could, however, pick up on the fact that something was going on. -- What was it? Did he tie his apron badly? Was his hair a mess? Or maybe this lady just needed to know where the loo was, but was too embarrassed to ask?

Eileen smiled, shifting forward in her seat as she offered a smooth "It's nice to meet you too, Eren."

And that... Well, that really confused him. Again, Eren looked to Heiji for guidance, trying to discreetly get his attention with a subtle (yet clearly concerned) raised eyebrow.

Oh, Eren, no. That deer in headlights look was only going to encourage them. Heiji smiled at both of them and decided to prompt Eren a bit. Might as well learn sometime, right?

"He's kinda the strong, silent type. Eren, you remember today's specials, right?"

Two pairs of eyes from the girls seated at the booth, now trained on the newbie waiter. If he floundered, Heiji would rescue him.... but he seemed like the studious type. Heiji had faith he could handle this!

'Strong, silent type'? The dots finally started to connect. Oh. Oh, wow. This must be what they called Casual Work Flirting - the sacred art of getting girls to buy more and leave bigger tips. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this...!

But he had to learn sooner or later, didn't he? At least now, Heiji was here for support. Very well then. Since it had come to this, he'd give it his all. "You'll have to excuse me for being so quiet, I'm not used to talking to such cute girls," he tried.

...And instantly regretted it. There's some intense blushing on Eren's part, and a beat of silence followed by giggling on the part of the girls.

Seriously, where was a time machine when you needed it? He hastily moved along with the spiel, hoping that maybe that would make everyone forget that the first part ever happened. Ahhhh. "So, yeah. Right! The specials! Today's specials include all of our house blend tisanes, as well as the mixed berry jelly soda. They go particularly well with the newly listed item from our dessert menu: the popover pudding a la mode."

The girls, in their great mercy, both made their choices quickly.

Heiji put a hand on Eren's shoulder. It was okay, buddy... everyone struck out sometimes...

"Okay, one slice of cherry pie and a blend, no sugar, no cream. And for Eileen, a berry soda and the pudding. Thanks, guys!" Time to herd Eren over to the counter to start on that order.

"Don't worry about it," he said in a low voice once they were out of earshot. "They're pretty nice."

Ringer moved easily along the pavement, unperturbed by the darkness and fog that settled over the city in a foreboding and ominous manner. It encouraged her to be ready and alert, her training ingrained and her 9mm securely tucked into the shoulder holster beneath her jacket. At times like this, she missed the quieter and more empty streets of Oxford and wondered if she might ever return. Some part of her never wanted to.

Her thoughts were disrupted by the sight of the blue flame, recognizing it immediately as something at best unnatural and at worst dangerous. She felt drawn toward it, conscious of the sorcery and the likely trap it posed while simultaneously enchanted by the simple demonstration.

"Are you going to kill me?" She asked blandly of the darkness, tearing her gaze away from the flame and finding herself blinded thanks to the light.

There was a glint of light reflecting off animal eyes. "What? No." Well... he probably should have put some work into sounding more ominous, there, but people usually didn't ask Heiji straight out if he was going to kill them.

"I was just going to ask you some questions."

......Nailed it.

Ringer found the animal's eyes easily after a moment, as her eyes readjusted to the dark. The chances of her being able to pull her weapon before it lunged for her weren't good. At least the thing claimed not to want to murder her and, if its what sounded like surprise was any indication, it actually meant it.

"Okay.." She crossed her arms with her wary agreement, sidestepping away from the flame to help improve her dark vision. She still couldn't properly make out the thing across from her, her system filling with adrenaline and prepping her for combat.

"Before we start in earnest, though, I have to ask: to whom am I speaking?" Well, at least he was polite.

Heiji stepped out of the mist: a fox as tall as an adult human, with dark fur and five long tails trailing behind him.

"Ringer. Who are you?" While not exactly impolite, she preferred to skip the small talk and get to the meat of the conversation more quickly. Ringer lacked tact in that sense, but she tried to remain polite within that shortcoming. Like when she resisted the urge to take a step back at the sight of him, or even to reach for her gun. Her arms crossed over her chest resulted in one hand resting against the Sig Sauer beneath her jacket and she found some comfort in that.

Of course, not every supernatural creature was evil or out to ruin humanity. She knew that. It was the reason she was willing to talk right now. "Are you a shapeshifter?"

His tails waved back and forth. "Well, I mean. I'm not really here to answer questions. Just ask them. So, Ringer! Kind of an unusual name. But what do you know about actual ringers? By which I mean horseshoes. I'm going to ask you three questions about the game of horseshoes, and depending on how many you get right, you'll get a prize!"

Wh...at.

Which of the following might you actually do during a game of horseshoes?
- Give the charge
- Evaluate the heel calks
- Consult the dibbly-dobbly bowlers

..What?

Ringer stared at the thing for a moment, glancing around as if certain this was some bizarre practical joke. Joke or not, it was certainly bizarre. She shook her head as her gaze returned to the thing. Maybe its goal was to confuse her to death, or to act as a distraction.

"I don't know anything about horseshoes. The nickname is because I'm such a good shot." It's not meant to be boasting, rather said as a statement of fact. "Why are you giving out prizes for irrelevant trivia?"

"I like trivia. Besides, you never know when a bit of it might come in handy." It was completely serious, or maybe it wasn't. It was kind of hard to tell with fox faces.

"Anyway, you have a 33% chance of getting this right even if you guess blindly. So you could consider it a test of your luck, too."

No, Ringer was pretty sure that knowing about horseshoes would never come in handy. It didn't help that she hated games of chance. Strategy was well and good for her and she genuinely enjoyed chess or guessing at things she might have a clue about. With this line of questioning, it was only luck that would see her through and she was perfectly fine being the spoil sport when it was with someone she didn't know for a prize they'd failed to mention.

"I don't want to play." Her tone was the same dry skepticism as before. "Do you have any relevant questions or should I go?"

Edited (tense flopping) 2015-06-03 22:42 (UTC)

The fox sort of shrugged. He wasn't going to keep her there if she didn't want to participate.

"Okay, I guess I can just give you a consolation prize, then."

The mist faded from site, as did the fox itself. In its place was a small travel pack of 2-ply facial tissues. But not the kind with lotion, that was gross.

That was unexpected. Ringer glanced around, half expecting him to reappear, before she moved forward to look down at what he'd left behind. As if she would accept facial tissues from a mysterious fox who likes horseshoes. With that, she turned on her heel and stomped away, vaguely irritated for no good reason.

No one liked consolation prizes...

They were nice tissues, though. Maybe someone else would want them. In any case, they sat there, alone and unused. Maybe they would never find their intended purpose...

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I for one welcome our new witchy overlords [Open]

B

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B

Re: B

/brblaughinghysterically

:)

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