tearmeanewone: (141)
Elizabeth ([personal profile] tearmeanewone) wrote in [community profile] undergrounds2016-02-22 10:44 pm

[Open] I'm Not the Same Kid From Your Memory

Date: Catch-all for February
What: A crisis of conscience. But what can someone as separated from politics like her do?

How humiliating.

Elizabeth had known from the start that she wasn't fit to be Maiden, and yet she'd let Norrell and Sylvia talk her into being paraded around as a possibility, not thinking about what would happen when she-- surprise surprise!-- wasn't. Landing in the water after being harassed hadn't been so great either, and Norrell's reaction (or really, lack thereof) spoke volumes. He probably would have preferred that she'd drowned quietly, wouldn't he?

She's been staying away from the circle, embarrassed and feeling betrayal she probably had no business feeling. And used, that was the worst feeling of all. They'd used her. Just like in Virginia.

But what was she supposed to do? These were the people who were supposed to protect her, and instead they're parading her around like a show pony with a big 'KILL ME' sign around her neck. Leaving would be suicide, and who else would teach her how to use her power? Not Circle Midnight, obviously. So she had to, somehow, make her own situation tenable.

[A - Early February]

But how? She didn't know anyone, she intentionally stayed out of things if she could help it, unless it involved keeping people alive. February is still freezing by her standards, but the only way to get her mind quiet is to run. So she starts jogging at the park near her dorm-- she's pretty fast on her own, even when she's dressed for the cold weather. As she runs, she goes back and forth in her head. How fast, realistically, would she be crushed if she actually stood up to Norrell?


[B - Mid February, for Illya]

As much as she thought about it, she could really only speculate about the outcomes. She needs someone who will be painfully blunt with her, and fortunately she actually knows someone like that. Who she just happens to have a certain potion for-- at least something good came from assisting Norrell at Croydon again. Elizabeth sends Illya a text and waits at the deli they'd last met at, mostly staring out the window and waiting instead of drinking her coffee.


[C - Late February]

It's really the only option available to her, she thinks as she downs another shot. Elizabeth is young and inexperienced, but she isn't dumb. Norrell assured her assistance at first because she thought the same kind of loyalty would be extended to her, and the second time he'd bought her fair and square. But the incident on the boat is decidedly unforgivable. He's a jackass is what he is. What kind of leader just watched his student struggle to not drown?

Not again. She'd be damned if she let herself be moved around a board like a chess piece by Gilbert Norrell again.

...Not that she is one-hundred percent sure of what she's going to do or how she's going to go about it, but that's something for a night that's not the one she's decided to quietly rebel against her mentor. Right now, she's enjoying some drinking and dancing away from her roommate. Just remembering what it's like to live free for a night.
growsowngoats: (making point)

[personal profile] growsowngoats 2016-03-12 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
"I don't know. Start our own coven? Do things our own way?"

The ladies she's covening with at the moment are all very nice, but Siobhan is still a little too much of an individualist to so easily slip into someone else's system. Maybe if she could build her own from the ground up it would chafe less.
growsowngoats: (making point)

[personal profile] growsowngoats 2016-03-12 08:25 am (UTC)(link)
"Considering the fact that we are taught from birth to think that men and women barely live on the same planet, it's not such a weird thing to say if you ask me."

Maybe one day equality will be an actual thing and gender won't matter, but as it is Siobhan can definitely understand why a young woman might find it a comforting thought to practice her craft with another young woman rather than a couple of men.
growsowngoats: (yellow cup)

[personal profile] growsowngoats 2016-03-15 10:07 am (UTC)(link)
Siobhan can find ways to get along with just about anyone (though Norrell and Childermass do seem to be exceptions) but she can absolutely see where Elizabeth is coming from here.

"Aye, I imagine it would. Only problem is that if you took of there'd be no one to argue with them."

And Siobhan thinks that is desperately needed. She also suspects that maybe Norrell needs some love. But she thinks pretty much everyone does.

"Maybe I should just come join you guys. Balance things out a wee bit. Norrell would probably shit a brick."

She's just brainstorming here, because clearly something must be done. She also needs to actually do some drinking considering what she paid for the abomination in front of her, so she downs about half her glass in one go. Smooth.
Edited 2016-03-15 10:07 (UTC)
growsowngoats: (giggle)

[personal profile] growsowngoats 2016-03-25 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Siobhan giggles and gives her a round of applause for that superb performance.

"Aye, you deserve an Oscar, you do."
growsowngoats: (small smile)

[personal profile] growsowngoats 2016-03-31 08:01 am (UTC)(link)
"Would you like to?"

It's... a really exciting idea, more exciting the more she thinks about it, really.