undergrounds | [Open] I'm Not the Same Kid From Your Memory

Date: Catch-all for February
What: A crisis of conscience. But what can someone as separated from politics like her do?

How humiliating.

Elizabeth had known from the start that she wasn't fit to be Maiden, and yet she'd let Norrell and Sylvia talk her into being paraded around as a possibility, not thinking about what would happen when she-- surprise surprise!-- wasn't. Landing in the water after being harassed hadn't been so great either, and Norrell's reaction (or really, lack thereof) spoke volumes. He probably would have preferred that she'd drowned quietly, wouldn't he?

She's been staying away from the circle, embarrassed and feeling betrayal she probably had no business feeling. And used, that was the worst feeling of all. They'd used her. Just like in Virginia.

But what was she supposed to do? These were the people who were supposed to protect her, and instead they're parading her around like a show pony with a big 'KILL ME' sign around her neck. Leaving would be suicide, and who else would teach her how to use her power? Not Circle Midnight, obviously. So she had to, somehow, make her own situation tenable.

[A - Early February]

But how? She didn't know anyone, she intentionally stayed out of things if she could help it, unless it involved keeping people alive. February is still freezing by her standards, but the only way to get her mind quiet is to run. So she starts jogging at the park near her dorm-- she's pretty fast on her own, even when she's dressed for the cold weather. As she runs, she goes back and forth in her head. How fast, realistically, would she be crushed if she actually stood up to Norrell?

[B - Mid February, for Illya]

As much as she thought about it, she could really only speculate about the outcomes. She needs someone who will be painfully blunt with her, and fortunately she actually knows someone like that. Who she just happens to have a certain potion for-- at least something good came from assisting Norrell at Croydon again. Elizabeth sends Illya a text and waits at the deli they'd last met at, mostly staring out the window and waiting instead of drinking her coffee.

[C - Late February]

It's really the only option available to her, she thinks as she downs another shot. Elizabeth is young and inexperienced, but she isn't dumb. Norrell assured her assistance at first because she thought the same kind of loyalty would be extended to her, and the second time he'd bought her fair and square. But the incident on the boat is decidedly unforgivable. He's a jackass is what he is. What kind of leader just watched his student struggle to not drown?

Not again. She'd be damned if she let herself be moved around a board like a chess piece by Gilbert Norrell again.

...Not that she is one-hundred percent sure of what she's going to do or how she's going to go about it, but that's something for a night that's not the one she's decided to quietly rebel against her mentor. Right now, she's enjoying some drinking and dancing away from her roommate. Just remembering what it's like to live free for a night.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Well, I still owe you a trip, I believe," Illya replied calmly.

Other than that, he couldn't offer much. However, it was something. And sometimes something like that could inspire more change. Or give her some idea of something.

"...do you have to kill me now that I've told you I'm not happy in Daybreak?" She smiles like it's a joke-- it mostly is, though she's a little nervous that she's told the wrong person about how unhappy she is. She trusted Illya to tell her if she was being crazy or unreasonable, if all he could offer was a trip...

Illya actually gave a quick chuckle and shook his head.

"I cannot offer more. There is nothing I can do for you other than offer a trip. I can't help you with anything else. At least not at the present moment. Without knowing what I can do."

"Oh, I'm not asking you to do anything, Mr. Kuryakin," Elizabeth smiles and shakes her head. "Aside from being a sounding board, I guess. You're one of the bluntest people I know-- sorry, but I knew you wouldn't just tell me what I wanted to hear and leave it at that.

"...not that I'm saying no to a trip with you," she rests her chin in her hand. "I'd just prefer it if it didn't end with me dying."

"I can assure you," he replies calmly with a bow of his head, "I have no orders to kill you."

Nor any inclination to do so, but that rarely mattered.

"But I am always happy to listen to you."

Elizabeth's smile blooms into a full grin, and she seems to glow with the knowledge that Ivan will listen to her if she needs to talk. Like a friend.

"So," she says, picking up her coffee. "Where are we taking a trip to?"

"It was you, I believe, who mentioned Paris."

A short jaunt across the Channel. A weekend trip, at the most. But he had made the offer when she'd given him the promise of making him wolfsbane.

Elizabeth's face lights up immediately, setting her coffee down before she can drop it.

"Really? Paris? You'd go there with me?" She'd expected something like... a museum or the ocean or something quick and easy. Not... Paris.

"Someone has to keep you safe," he says with a shrug. Even at the words, though, there's a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Besides, it is a day trip. A weekend if you must. No great inconvenience."

Especially to a man with few ties.

"Oh it has to be a weekend! We'd spend all day just getting there! And I want to have breakfast at a street cafe in the early morning-- it's so beautiful in the early morning, no matter where you go, so it must be doubly so in Paris." Elizabeth puts her chin in her hands and grins at Illya, so thrilled by the prospect of a trip with a... friend? Friend seems better than 'the werewolf who's offered to keep me safe while we're away in Paris for the weekend'.

"How about sometime next month? Maybe around the new moon...?"

"The middle of April, then?" he murmurs, offering a bit of a smile. "If I'm able to get away from my job, I will make sure it is done. It is the least I can do."

He means it, too. After all, he made his promise, and he intends to keep it. Even if Paris holds no particular interest for him. She wants to see it, and he'll see that happen.

"Sure! My schedule is pretty flexible, so whenever you're free, I'll make myself free," she says with an excited and decided nod.

"I suppose I should start finding a list of places I want to go... maybe museums? Do you like that kind of thing?"

"I do, though you should not worry about what I will like. I am just your escort. See what you want to see."

Because, well, that was what he'd promised her. To keep her safe while she saw Paris. She deserved it, seeing that part of the world. Everyone did. Whatever mattered most to them.

Just like he wanted to see Saint Petersburg again.

"But I don't want to go by myself, that's... boring." Is 'boring' the right word? 'Lonely' might be better. Or 'empty'.

"I can't rattle on about all of the things I'm seeing with someone who's not going to know what the heck I'm talking about. I mean, you don't have to talk back I guess, but I'd feel better if you... you know. Knew what I was talking about."

She'd feel better if someone shared it with her. It's not about the destination anymore.

Illya actually chuckles. She is very, very young. And that's something of a relief. Because she can still enjoy a city like Paris for what it is. While she'll see museums, he'll see exits and choke points. But he can listen to a better view.

"I enjoy art and history. Put together your program, and we will see Paris together."

"Perfect!" She enjoys art and history too! She can pull together an excellent weekend of both, she's certain of it. "I won't overload the schedule, I'll make sure we have plenty of time to actually look at things. Not do what some people do at the British Museum and just run through for the sake of seeing without looking. And a nice hotel-- that will be on me, I'll make a reservation. I'd better start looking tonight, maybe there'll be some kind of deal..."

"Then I shall talk to you soon, I think? Make more final plans."

And find out his own schedule. Figure out a time when he could be spared from his duties as Guardian. Time off from the school was less worrying, now that he was only there part time anyway.

[Open] I'm Not the Same Kid From Your Memory

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