closed to eames

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Arthur's no stranger to this situation. He could probably navigate Eames' bathroom in the pitch dark at this point, but he throws on the lights anyway just to make sure he looks okay before he heads back out to Eames' bedroom and throws himself down on the bed. Sleeping here is just part of the routine now, and even if it weren't Eames' bed is too comfortable to leave immediately, plus the company isn't terrible.

Arthur's well aware that if anyone told him a year or two ago that he'd be making regular visits here and for this purpose he'd call them crazy, but here he is, and it's actually kind of nice. Their professional lives still stay completely separate but they don't fight nearly as much and it's nice to have someone around who you can just get to know. Arthur's pretty sure he knows that when he shoots Eames a sleepy but sly smile he'll get some kind of positive reaction even if it's just a grin in return as Arthur slips under the covers and makes himself comfortable.

Comments

[falsify]

Eames has pulled the covers up around himself and settled in, waiting for Arthur to get back before he thinks about actually going to sleep. He doesn't think about it much-- certainly the idea of not only sleeping with Arthur, but doing it regularly and actually looking forward to it and enjoying being intimate in more than just a physical sense, it would've sounded nuts to him a few years ago. But it's fun and that's about all the thinking Eames intends to do on the topic.

He smiles back at Arthur as he gets into bed, putting his phone down on the nightstand and turning on his side to face him.

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Arthur slides in close and sighs happily but he doesn't cuddle up quite yet.

"You busy tomorrow?"

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Eames puts a hand on Arthur's chest, looking down at it in quiet appreciation, gaze flitting back to Arthur's face when he speaks.

"I don't have to be."

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Arthur lets out a soft, dry laugh. "I don't want to take up too much of your time," he says, with a tone that implies he doesn't care how much of Eames' time he takes up at all. He was just trying to make a bit of conversation but if this is going to lead to another good day tomorrow he's not going to shut that down.

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That just gets a snort in response from Eames because he knows it's a lie, but he doesn't mind. He just shakes his head and murmurs a soft "come here" and slips his hand up around to Arthur's back to try and pull him closer.

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That's a command he's going to obey nine times out of ten, so he shuffles closer and lifts his head to give Eames a kiss as he brings his hand to Eames' jaw.

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Eames grins and kisses Arthur back, trailing his fingers up and down Arthur's back with a soft sigh.

[specifiercity]

This afterglow state is becoming more and more one of Arthur's favourite parts of sleeping with Eames. It lets him indulge something that he wants that runs deeper than wanting to have sex, but Arthur's ignoring all those thoughts and feelings at present so he's just going to focus on how good Eames feels pressed up against him.

The memory of a few days ago is fresh and simple, so it's no wonder that Eames picks up on it so easily. It's the closing ceremony of the Night Tournament and Eames is there, Eames is walking towards him in fact, and Arthur barely even notices the feeling anymore but it makes him smile every time. And when Eames smiles back at him it's approaches unbearable, but Arthur just registers that as excitement at the possibility of really good sex. The thing is, when Eames walks up to him all smiles because he's won the whole damn thing, for a second Arthur just thinks about how fucking beautiful he is and nothing else.

There's a lot wrapped up in that one moment, but it's quick and clear. The whole series of events has happened before so it's not really that significant for Arthur, but he remembers that night in particular because all of it was so good.

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Eames is just enjoying the kiss at first; Arthur really is great at it.

But then suddenly he's seeing himself through Arthur's eyes, seeing himself after he won the tournament and the accompanying feelings Arthur felt at the time and it's... It's so different to how he assumed Arthur felt. Overwhelming, almost. Eames flinches away instantly, pulling his hands back to himself.

He's too tired to really control his reaction the way he usually would, brow furrowed in a mix of confusion and concern as he tries to process what he's just seen. Part of him assuming maybe he just interpreted, because Arthur certainly can't be that attached to him. They've gotten close over this last year or so, certainly, but now it makes him worry Arthur wants something more that Eames really can't give him.

On the other hand, he does have to admit, he looks amazing through Arthur's eyes. So maybe that's all it is. Just Arthur being happy to see a really attractive man.

[specifiercity]

Arthur makes a noise when Eames pulls away. He almost goes back in to try and kiss him again but the look on Eames' face is enough to make him pause. His hand is still on Eames' cheek and he keeps it there as he frowns and looks at him curiously.

"What is it?" he says.

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God there's a difficult question. Eames frowns and shakes his head, because now he has to think about what to tell him and it's a lot all at once. He doesn't even know if he's willing to tell Arthur what he can do yet, but he has to tell him something.

He needs a moment to get that all in order though, and he raises a hand to gesture for Arthur to wait, almost putting it on Arthur's chest but he thinks better at the last moment and doesn't quite make contact.

[specifiercity]

Arthur withdraws, looking concerned, and he shuffles back a few inches to put a bit of space between them.

"I don't understand," he says, his voice calm and steady. He has no idea what's going on right now and he's a little worried he did something but for the life of him he can't figure what that would be.

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"I've... Learned some new magic," Eames says, a little hesitant. That much isn't a secret, the scroll was part of the ceremony, but he's worried Arthur's going to ask what it is and it's a little surprising to him, but he'd rather not lie. "I'm still learning to get it under control."

~sept 2nd

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It takes Arthur a couple days to compose what he wants to say. Eames has already apologized once so Arthur's not going to demand another one, but he feels like he's been misunderstood and he wants to set things straight. Talking about his feelings is stressful and terrible and he never wanted to be in this position but here they are.

When he decides it's time, he gives Eames a call and only asks if he can come over, refusing to talk about it over the phone. He suspects Eames will say yes immediately so he's already halfway out the door when he calls, which means it's not too long before he's standing at Eames' door, looking uncomfortably at his shoes while he waits for Eames to answer it.

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Despite himself, Eames is honestly really pleased to see Arthur when he opens the door. He knows things are about to get real stressful real fast, but at least Arthur hasn't decided to cut ties immediately and removed himself from Eames' life with no explanation.

He smiles and puts a hand on Arthur's arm briefly in greeting and turns to lead him through to the kitchen.

"Coffee?"

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"Yes, please," Arthur says, following Eames in and sitting down at the kitchen table. He waits, going over this one more time in his head and trying not to get distracted by how good Eames looks right now. It's tempting to just say they should forget about it and go lay down in bed for a while, but Arthur has to get this out of the way.

He wants coffee in front of him first, though.

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Eames pours two coffees and sets them down at the table by the window. He sits down opposite Arthur and cups the mug in his hands, quiet for the moment. He wants to talk, but he stays quiet and leaves it open for Arthur to start.

[specifiercity]

Arthur takes a deep breath, inhaling of the smell of the coffeee and letting that ground him so he can get started. He gives Eames a level and serious look.

"You can't talk until I'm done, okay?"

He watches him to make sure he understands before he continues.

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It takes him a moment, but Eames nods slowly. Looking down at the mug instead of at Arthur to make it a little easier not to protest.

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Arthur takes another moment before he starts speaking, glancing at Eames and then down at a point on the floor behind Eames to make it easier.

"I'm not completely oblivious to my own feelings, okay? I can't control them but I know what's going on in my own head and I don't need you to tell me. I haven't talked to you about it because I didn't think you needed to know and I like the way things are right now. I don't want anything to change."

He looks back up at Eames just to check whether he's still on board, still understanding.

"Whatever you sensed me feeling, whether it was more or it was different than what you thought it would be, you have to trust that I'm handling it. If I wanted something from you and I wasn't telling you I wanted it or preparing for the possibility that you might not feel the same, that would be on me. I know that. You don't have to tell me that you're capable of hurting my feelings because I already know that and I know how to handle it if that ever happens."

He looks down at his coffee again, sighing. "I don't know how long it's going to take for you to get this under control. I don't want this to happen again and I really hope you'll try, but in case it does, I need to know that you won't assume my expectations are any higher than what I say out loud."

Finally he looks back up at Eames, letting the silence indicate that he's ready for Eames to talk.

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Eames swallows, looking down still, and he looks back up at Arthur with a frown.

"I didn't mean to assume--" Eames sighs and shakes his head, "I panicked and I was doing a poor job of handling it."

He looks up at Arthur, thumbing along the rim of his mug in thought and he gives Arthur a bit of a concerned expression, because he doesn't want this to go over the wrong way. "I don't-- I can't know exactly what you feel based on a snapshot, but I just... I don't want to be in the way of something more fulfilling for you further down the line."

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"What's that supposed to mean?" Arthur asks, frowning but keeping his tone only a bit annoyed. He thinks he gets what Eames is saying (and it's bullshit) but he wants to give him a chance to explain himself before he jumps to conclusions.

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"If--" and he's careful to say 'if', rather than make any assumptions on Arthur's part, "if you end up feeling something stronger, more serious... I don't think I'd be able to give you that. And I don't want you to miss something better because of it."

Eames pulls a face, because it feels like a bad thing to have sait, but here they are. "I guess I just got worried. I don't want this to be a problem for you further down the road."

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"Maybe you can let me make my own problems," Arthur says. "And if I ever feel that way, and I want something from you that you can't give me... then I'll leave."

He says it with a shrug, like he's ready to do it tomorrow if he has to. He'd really rather not, but he doesn't want Eames treating him like a child who can't make his own decisions regarding his own happiness. He has the ability to do that, at least.

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He doesn't know that he fully trusts Arthur to be fully cognisant and honest about his feelings, but he can't exactly go around second-guessing everything Arthur does.

Eames sighs and looks down, suddenly uncomfortable.

"I do need you to tell me if that ever happens," Eames says, less straightforward than he wants and more as if asking for something he doesn't want to be asking for. Probably because he implicitly is. "There's only so much I can be dishonest, I can't lie to you."

That's probably the heart of it; that he never entirely trusts any mortal to tell the truth. They're not bound by their word, incapable of telling falsehoods. The only thing keeping them honest is their conscience.