Never a new beginning

[nooneleft]

Totally screwed over

She stands alone in the middle of London, a battered duffel bag by her feet and an oversized khaki jacket on her back. Fucking perfect. She's got to go round the long bloody way to get to the safe zones unless she tries her luck in vamp territory. But Johanna's not stupid. She's not going there unarmed.

She crosses Trafalgar square quickly, keeping her head up, her eyes flicking in every which direction and ducking through the crowds as quickly as she can. Which right now, isn't exactly as quickly as she would like. She walks stiffly, the bruises all over her body causing her more pain than she would ever care to admit. Teeth gritted though, she barrels on. That is, until her path is blocked by someone. Johanna scowls.

"I would move if I were you."

Not like the rest of you.

She's not really got anywhere to go, even once she reaches the East End. She heads for Waltham Forest for no other reason than the reference to the woods. Once there, she treads the streets until she finds herself a park. A tree is much like any other tree, but to Johanna at least, they remind her of home. She reaches up to swing herself into the lower branches of one quite far into the park: she growls in annoyance when her grip fails and she falls on her backside with a thump. She tries again though, and again and again, until at last she gives up and kicks the trunk hard out of her sheer frustration.

"Fuck you!" she screams out, her voice hoarse and cracking.

The only result is her toe hurting now too, a specific pain, unlike the dull ache that floats through the rest of her body.
Is it a good excuse to take an extra tablet now? She flings herself down under the tree, her back resting against it. And then she realises that someone's coming towards her, and she groans again.

"What do you want?"


A bit of rain never hurt nobody

She realised too late, of course, that her plan for sleeping in a tree would do only as long as the weather held. It wasn't the cold that bothered her in the slightest, but rather the rain.

June in England is wet. This year, it's uncharacteristically wet. At first, Johanna tries to ignore it, and just pulls her sleeping bag above her head. But still, she can feel - she can almost hear - the steady drip, drip, drip of raindrops splashing down onto her forehead. It's almost exactly like where he made her - NO!

No, she refuses to think, but the damage is done, and she can't stay here any more. Not in the rain.

She doesn't bother to pack, but simply bundles the sleeping bag over her shoulders and her face, an extra layer of protection from the water. With her bag over her shoulder, she runs, quickly scaling the fence that surrounds the locked park. But where to go? She's spent her time in London so far watching people. She's cottoned on to a few of the werewolves, though she hasn't directly approached them. She has followed them though, noted their comings and goings, looked out for their homes. For now she's got no choice. She'll have to go there.

She groans as she turns on her heel and runs to the nearest residence. A hammering on the door will hopefully wake the occupant, not quite sure what she'll say when the door is eventually opened.

For now though, she presses into the doorway as close as she can, away from the rain.

Comments

[nooneleft]

Johanna shrugs and leans back against the tree. "Longer than you've been alive."

It's not that she doesn't have the instinct, but it's one she definitely fights. Johanna has learned that she is poisonous: she brings misery to the people she's close to. She just can't face that kind of loss again.

"If you're supposed to be the spokesperson for the damn clan, then you're doing a crap job."

[thelastjoy]

That raises the eyebrows. She's not always the best at guessing ages, but she wouldn't put Johanna as having much more than half a decade on her. "That supposed to be a joke or are you sayin' you were a kid when you turned?"

Girl colors, embarrassed if only because she knows the woman is right. She's hardly the right person for this. "I'm just the first one to run into you. Anyone else would be better at tellin' you what's good 'bout it. In fact, I could take you to someone else. Let them tell you East End and our Alpha."

[nooneleft]

"I was born into it." Johanna shifts. She doesn't talk about her history. "I turned when I was seventeen."
It doesn't matter that she was forced to turn by a man who wanted to torture her to death. But before that, having a pack was just natural to her. She'd never really thought about leaving District 7 for another one.

"Do I look like I'm going anywhere?" She demands, after a moment of self-reflection about how she's actually ended up in London. "I told you, I'm not joining a pack."
Not until it suits her.

[thelastjoy]

"So was I." In fact, Johanna was the first person she'd met who'd admitted being born into it too. "I just turned a few months ago. I'm fifteen," she says, like it matters. Johanna hadn't been much older than her when she'd turned, just like the girl from the subway hadn't been much older. Was it normal for teenagers to active their curses so early on?

"But if you were born in it, you must have-" Had one before. Girl bites back saying it, thinking that it may be a sore subject. She'd had one before too, and it'd taken years to look for a new one. "They're not bad people. They won't mind, if you were part of one before."

Maybe she felt taking on a new pack was a betrayal. Girl could sympathize with that.

"If you're plannin' on stayin' in the city, you should join someone. A lotta people don't think it's safe to be on your own here."

[nooneleft]

"They're dead." Johanna says, shortly. She doesn't look at Girl. She doesn't actually move at all, and her voice has no emotion in it. Most people would think that she didn't care about it at all. Most people would be wrong. But it's not a topic she's willing to discuss.

"A lot of people don't know me, kid." Girl's worry makes Johanna laugh. She flexes her hands: they're scarred with dog bites and cuts from the other werewolves she was forced to fight. "I can handle myself." She could do with an axe though, just to make sure.

[thelastjoy]

Girl's mouth drops open. It's a blunter response than she expected and a subject matter she's surprised to hear touched on. "Oh." She breathes out a few seconds too late to be anything but awkward. "Sorry. I know how much that sucks."

"It's easier when you don't have to handle it alone." She bites her lip. Shouldn't losing a pack make her want to find one again? Maybe it was only Girl who clung to that idea after tragedy. "Whole point of East End is so no one has to do it on their own. Half the groups 'round here seem to have a problem with wolves. It could get dangerous for you."

[nooneleft]

Does she? Does she actually know how much it sucks for your clan to be murdered,for you to be captured and forced to fight and to watch your parents be murdered? Girl's response makes Johanna smile sarcastically at first, before she breaks into a laugh, as high pitched and as mean as ever.

When she splutters to a silence, Johanna shakes her head. She shifts herself a little, and reaches into the back pocket of her jeans. Slowly, she pulls out a crumpled ten pound note, and holds it out to Girl.

"Tell you what, if you're so bothered about my safety. Run off to a nice hardware shop and buy me an axe."

It might cost Johanna a tenner, but at least she'll be shot of the kid. There's no way she's coming back with the requested weapon. If Johanna was her, she'd be spending it on paracetamol and a couple of cans of pepsi to wash the pills down. But that's just Johanna. Maybe she'll do something a bit more normal with it? Johanna's nose wrinkles. She doesn't care at all.

[thelastjoy]

She'd never been forced to fight, but she'd seen the people who'd raised her taken out like animals. She'd had nightmares about it for years, seeing it night after night and always wondering when the hunters would come to finish the job. It's why she can't fault Johanna the strange reaction, though she flinches from the harsh sound of the laugh.

"An axe." She repeats slowly, hesitating with her hand outstretched for the note. Girl half expects this is just a pay off. Johanna clearly wants rid of her and who's to say she'll still be here when Girl gets back? Worry is still in her eyes, but something firm settles there too. She nods, snatches the note and rises back to her feet. "Won't take me long."

She returns near twenty minutes later, muttering to herself about hold ups. She's carrying something in her arms that's been hastily wrapped up in bags, wary of walking the streets with weapon and wondering what she'll do with it if she's found Johanna disappeared.

[nooneleft]

Well, bloody hell. The kid had actually done it. Johanna was a little bit gobsmacked. She had expected Girl to pocket the money and run for it. Johanna would have at Girl's age. Hell, Johanna still would now.
As Girl approaches, Johanna heaves herself to the feet. "You seriously did it?" She cannot help but sound a little impressed, and her mouth curls into a slight smile as she takes the axe from Girl.
It's a good weight, she realises, as she tests it in her hand. Well no, it's light, but considering how little strength she has, for now, it's a good weight.

Finally, life is coming together again.

She glances back at Girl. "What? You want a medal?"

[thelastjoy]

"Yeah?" She shifts awkwardly once the axe is out of her grasp, both a little confused and embarrassed. She'd been right, Johanna must not have expected her to come back at all. Maybe she'd stepped out of line in doing so. But she couldn't imagine just taking the money. "You asked me to. And it wasn't like it was anythin' hard, so." She trails off awkwardly, shrugging a shoulder.

"No!" She says hastily and colors, hands back to her pockets. Johanna's abrasiveness makes Girl feel even more childish that the pack elders had. "Just, is that it? It's good? Or, whatever."

[nooneleft]

"It's good." Johanna admits. There's almost a reverence in her voice. She's not looking at Girl. She is way more interested in the axe. But her gaze shifts, and once more, she looks Girl up and down critically.

"You're not bad, Kid." That's about the biggest compliment Girl's going to get from Johanna, ever.

After a minute though, when Girl doesn't seem to be scarpering, Johanna begins to lose patience. "Why are you still here?"

[thelastjoy]

She smiles, brief and bright. She's relieved and, for the moment, pleased. "Good," she says, worried that gratitude would make her sound stupid. That she would sound childish or out of place.

Apparently she is anyway.

"I just- I can leave." Girl stumbles over her words, taken aback by Johanna's quick change in attitude. She backs up a few involuntary steps, wide eyed. But she lingers, half expecting that Johanna will be like the other wolves she's encountered; temperamental but using their brashness as a prank.

[nooneleft]

"No." Johanna looks over at Girl again, appraising her. The girl's got guts.

Johanna suddenly smiles. She sits down under the tree again, still clutching the axe. She pats the ground. "Sit." she barks.

"Who are you?" She leans forward, her eyes never leaving Girl's face.

[thelastjoy]

Girl opens her mouth, closes it and sighs. She sits again, gingerly because she's not sure when Johanna is going to change her mind and send Girl packing. She puts her hands in her lap, fiddling with her shirt hem.

"Girl," she says quickly. "I mean, that's what people call me. And I'm with East End, though guess you figured that 'lready. And you?"

[nooneleft]

"You don't have another name?" Johanna raises an eyebrow. "Or are you like, Madonna or something?" She chuckles: it's still high pitched, still mean, but Johanna is actually not trying to get Girl's back up any more.

"Johanna." She runs her finger over the blade of the axe, gentle enough that she doesn't cut the skin. When she looks up again at Girl, she glowers. "I don't want a pack." It's too much hassle. She doesn't want feelings involved.

[thelastjoy]

"No, I mean, yes. I just- no one ever calls me by my name. Just Girl. So." She shrugs, shoulders curled inward and tense. Trying to explain her name was always so awkward.

She can't help but frown. How can a wolf not want a pack? That kind of belonging was as critical as breathing, in her opinion. It was a rejection of nature. "Why?" Girl asks softly, too timidly to be an attempt to argue.

[nooneleft]

Johanna doesn't bother to answer. Instead, she leans back against the tree, and balances her axe across her knees. She doesn't have an answer. She's not about to divulge her history to a kid, no matter how ballsy the kid is.
"Packs are weird." She sighs, after a moment of silence. Her pack has been destroyed. There's no one really left for her. Johanna, always the thorn, always an unwanted after thought. She doesn't even think these things in self-pity, but more as a practicality. She's better off by herself. She can't trust even another wolf.

[thelastjoy]

"Weird." Girl echos, looking lost. The way Johanna drags out the silence she wonders if it's even worth it to ask.

"If you don't want to be with a pack," she starts and it's clearly painful for her to say, "there are other groups. Other people to help when it comes to bunch that seem to want us out. And if you really want to stay on your own, just don't get too close to the vampires or witches."