"That makes sense," she says, musing over it. Better to get if yourself and try no matter what than to hope someone's generosity won't have too many strings attached. "Working hard is the best way to go about getting something you want most of the time.

"Though I can understand how people would go to those lengths: There were sometimes I would have given an arm and a leg for something that I thought I needed back then. After I thought I did everything I could but it didn't work out for some reason." Enough money to pay the bills. A chance to be alive again. Those urges have come and gone but when they came, they hit her hard. "Time, sooner or later, will right things up but that's the dilemma isn't it?"

Time. Not everyone has the time to wait or to hope or to work until the darkness of the evening.