If it was tactless, then Aradia certainly doesn't seem to notice. If anything her deadpan tone warms slightly at the choice of topic and Cooper earns the beginnings of a grin. Oh dear. "There's worse epitaphs out there if you think about it. I heard about one guy who died trying to use a barrel as a makeshift rocket-fueled go-kart - at least with the house you'd still have most of your dignity afterwards."

Some ghosts spend their afterlife watching over loved ones, but clearly a better pastime was trawling the depths of the Darwin Awards.

"We can team up and be a pair of awkward nobodies then," though Islington means vampire, which crosses off at least three unasked questions. Beyond an answering wave to match the nod and an oddly curious stare, the almost-confirmation of Cooper's supernatural type goes entirely unremarked - ghosts have no blood, after all. Unless someone's discovered a way to feed off souls, there's no danger here. "It's nice to meet you, Cooper. Even if it's at a stuffy party in a creepy old house."